Thoughts on New Years Eve 2007....
It's almost impossible for me to let a year pass by without looking back at all it contained, and all that happened in its tenure. It would be almost unthinkable to let the year pass without reflecting, pondering, and examining it.
It's sort of hard to begin. This year hasn't been the best for me to say the least.
I hemorrhaged money for the first part of it, until I learned to live within my means, and within a budget. This wasn't easy for me. I was pretty much used to spending money on things I wanted, when I wanted them.. But I was living on a false economy. How? You guessed it, a credit card.. I finally came to my senses and took out a personal loan to pay off the card and stopped using it. But it was not an easy thing to get used to. I want to buy a home when I move back to Texas, and running up a credit card was NOT the way to do it.
I ended a year and a half relationship with a girlfriend I could have seen long term potential (marriage) with if things had worked out differently. I really loved her, but I simply wasn't going to put up with drama from her mother, and all the other associated crap that came out of the woodwork. I'm a grown up, not some teenage romeo.. I will not tolerate petty, stupid drama. Nor will I be second seat to anyone or anything... If I don't come first in your life, then I won't be IN your life.. If you expect me to be that is a "deal breaker" plain, and simple. No Harm, No Foul, that's just the rules of engagement with me. I'll for sure put you first in my life, before buddies, or anyone else.. But you WILL reciprocate, or we just won't see each other anymore.. Evah..
Got that? Good..
Work...
God, what can I say about it that I already haven't a bazillion times? It pays the bills, that's all. I don't leave it at the end of the day feeling fulfilled, or that I contributed to and great cause. It's just toil. A means to have a roof over my head, nothing more... The people I work with are by far the most dysfunctional, self-centered, backstabbing, unhappy beings I have ever worked with. ( and I say that in complete honesty ) Any joy that could be gleaned at work is destroyed by these people.
I hope and pray that I'll get a call from Texas soon.
I guess my biggest wish for 2008 is just to get hired back home, and move the hell out of here. To say that I'm tired of this place would be an understatement. I want to be able to spend time with my folks, and put some roots down.
I've been an International Man of Mystery for over 12 years now. It's time to settle back, and start looking towards retirement. Get a dog, grow a garden, get a routine. Find a nubile young, independently wealthy, former supermodel, who owns a chain of liquor stores, and is an orphan, whose sexual appetite is rivaled only by her kinky side, and... Errr.....
Umm,... Ahem......
Ok Now, lets just save that for another post shall we?
But seriously..
When I look back on it, this year has been kind as well:
My family is safe, and doing well. No great tragedies happened this year. And for that I am truly grateful. I saw the celebration of 50 years of marriage of my Mother and Father.
I've seen the sun rise and set over the Florida Keys, with a glass of expensive scotch in my hand.
I've seen real, wild, "would eat you in a heartbeat" alligators only a few feet from my boat. And moved my boat closer to them to get better photographs.
I've caught 6 foot + sharks on the same boat in Everglades National Park so fast it would scare you half to death.
I've seen magical things, like a 10 foot wide Eagle Ray ( just like a manta ray ) up on the flats swimming beside the boat, curious as to what I was... Pink spoonbills flying over head, and wild parrots.
I've seen wild dolphins swimming, and a manatee come right up to the edge of the boat and stare at me, both of us looking at the other in wonder, and for a brief moment making a connection and communicating without saying a word..
I've laughed, cried, hoped, prayed, raged, shouted, and stared blankly into space.
So, overall the year that was 2007 did not at all give me what I wanted.. Not by a long shot..
But I was still blessed with some cool things happening...
I hope this next year brings the wishes I want to me.. But I also hope that it brings the same to each and every one of you as well.
Windrider
It's sort of hard to begin. This year hasn't been the best for me to say the least.
I hemorrhaged money for the first part of it, until I learned to live within my means, and within a budget. This wasn't easy for me. I was pretty much used to spending money on things I wanted, when I wanted them.. But I was living on a false economy. How? You guessed it, a credit card.. I finally came to my senses and took out a personal loan to pay off the card and stopped using it. But it was not an easy thing to get used to. I want to buy a home when I move back to Texas, and running up a credit card was NOT the way to do it.
I ended a year and a half relationship with a girlfriend I could have seen long term potential (marriage) with if things had worked out differently. I really loved her, but I simply wasn't going to put up with drama from her mother, and all the other associated crap that came out of the woodwork. I'm a grown up, not some teenage romeo.. I will not tolerate petty, stupid drama. Nor will I be second seat to anyone or anything... If I don't come first in your life, then I won't be IN your life.. If you expect me to be that is a "deal breaker" plain, and simple. No Harm, No Foul, that's just the rules of engagement with me. I'll for sure put you first in my life, before buddies, or anyone else.. But you WILL reciprocate, or we just won't see each other anymore.. Evah..
Got that? Good..
Work...
God, what can I say about it that I already haven't a bazillion times? It pays the bills, that's all. I don't leave it at the end of the day feeling fulfilled, or that I contributed to and great cause. It's just toil. A means to have a roof over my head, nothing more... The people I work with are by far the most dysfunctional, self-centered, backstabbing, unhappy beings I have ever worked with. ( and I say that in complete honesty ) Any joy that could be gleaned at work is destroyed by these people.
I hope and pray that I'll get a call from Texas soon.
I guess my biggest wish for 2008 is just to get hired back home, and move the hell out of here. To say that I'm tired of this place would be an understatement. I want to be able to spend time with my folks, and put some roots down.
I've been an International Man of Mystery for over 12 years now. It's time to settle back, and start looking towards retirement. Get a dog, grow a garden, get a routine. Find a nubile young, independently wealthy, former supermodel, who owns a chain of liquor stores, and is an orphan, whose sexual appetite is rivaled only by her kinky side, and... Errr.....
Umm,... Ahem......
Ok Now, lets just save that for another post shall we?
But seriously..
When I look back on it, this year has been kind as well:
My family is safe, and doing well. No great tragedies happened this year. And for that I am truly grateful. I saw the celebration of 50 years of marriage of my Mother and Father.
I've seen the sun rise and set over the Florida Keys, with a glass of expensive scotch in my hand.
I've seen real, wild, "would eat you in a heartbeat" alligators only a few feet from my boat. And moved my boat closer to them to get better photographs.
I've caught 6 foot + sharks on the same boat in Everglades National Park so fast it would scare you half to death.
I've seen magical things, like a 10 foot wide Eagle Ray ( just like a manta ray ) up on the flats swimming beside the boat, curious as to what I was... Pink spoonbills flying over head, and wild parrots.
I've seen wild dolphins swimming, and a manatee come right up to the edge of the boat and stare at me, both of us looking at the other in wonder, and for a brief moment making a connection and communicating without saying a word..
I've laughed, cried, hoped, prayed, raged, shouted, and stared blankly into space.
So, overall the year that was 2007 did not at all give me what I wanted.. Not by a long shot..
But I was still blessed with some cool things happening...
I hope this next year brings the wishes I want to me.. But I also hope that it brings the same to each and every one of you as well.
Windrider
Comments
Your embracing of Nature...or perhaps Nature's embracing of you...deeply moves my heart.
Your self-definition that, according to your words, has come to age this year is admirable and applaudable. Congratulations on having learned something from past experiences and/or errors committed.
I look forward to following your daily thoughts in the New Year. Here's to fun and friendship, with a little frolicking thrown in here and there for good balance.
Be well, Windrider. Happy New Year.
Nature is always where things have made sense to me.
Many times in my life, when I was angry , or hurt, or sad, I sought solace in nature. Things just always became clearer out in "the Green". It might take a few nights by a campfire, or just sitting by a stream watching the water...
But, I've always come away feeling centered. As if the time spent just being a creature of the earth, somehow calmed the turbulence in my "civilized" life.
That doesn't mean that the problems were solved.. Not by a long shot.. But it almost always revealed a path out of the chaos, or at least, the best way through it.
I wish you were here right now. I'd load you and I up in the boat and we would head out into "Pahokee" - (pronounced "pah-ho-kay-hay-eee") the Sea Of Grass.. (It's a Seminole word.)
We'd head off to a little island about 12 miles in the deep of the everglades where I've sat, and thought about life many a time.. Start a nice campfire, pour a couple of drinks, and just work out the problems of life..
But, since we can't do that, I just wish for you that the turmoil that is in your life subsides quickly. And always know that I have big broad shoulders that you can cry on, and ears that will listen to whatever you want ot need to say.. And it doesn't need to be here on this site either..
Much Love,
Windrider
May this next year shower you with amazing things, and all your hearts desires!
Windrider
I could sooooo use that, you don't know...
All stories are different, all have circumstances that are and are not comparable, but I know I have been tried and found guilty long before you even know the looooooooong story, and out of pure and utter fear, I ought to leave it at that.
I have always considered my outdoor time my "God" time and have, this year, finally had the guts to call that by name. I feel most at peace in open, fresh air with the sun on me and the sounds of Mother Nature all around...be that in my own garden or in a national park. It doesn't matter to me. I create the time in the warm months for the introspection that being outdoors allows me, but the cold months don't offer such solace (although call me wierd, but I actually like shoveling snow).
I could use a good dose of your sunshine...both the Florida kind and your personal touch. It would do me so much good.
Thank you, Windrider.
your word verification makes me crazy by the way.
happy happy attcha.
thanks for playing with the story tonight.
May it be good to us all!
Yes Lakota Princes, it sucks for me too but It has to be done..
Windrider
Un beso para ti XX
Oops...that was two.
Muchas besas!!!