Part 2
Eeek! I said tomorrow 3 days ago.. Shame on me. I was too busy just relaxing, and catching up on my rest.
So, where were we?
Ah yes, the day before the anniversary party..
Well, that evening was a grand old time. My Mother, Father, Brother, and Sister in law all sat around catching up on each others lives. It was marvelous to sit and have a drink with all of the immediate family in the same room. Keep in mind that this hasn't happened in 2 years, so it was something of an event.
Many martinis were quaffed, dirty jokes told, and laughs had by all. I could see by the gleam in my parents eyes that just have the 5 of us in the same place meant the world to them. After a while the folks went to bed and my Brother and I stayed up talking. I haven't done that in years, and it was good to spend a little time together. He seemed happy with how his life was going, his new job, and his marriage. In fact, I felt a twinge of envy at how stable and solid his life seemed compared to mine.
The next morning we all gathered around the dining room table and enjoyed a breakfast that could have quite possibly clogged the arteries of a herd of oxen! Jesus, I had forgotten how my brother cooks breakfast. Picture this, 5 people: a dozen scrambled eggs, a pound of fried bacon, 12 buttermilk biscuits, hash browns, salsa, jelly, jam, coffee, juice, toast, butter, and every other condiment you can imagine. The American Heart Association diet it certainly was not!
Of course I was chastised for not eating enough by my brother, but Christ on the Cross! There was no way I was going to load up on that stuff.. I've suffered for the last year trying to get my diet "clean". Eating more than one stick of bacon would give me Napalm caliber heartburn..
Man, I worry about his health. I mentioned it to my mother and father as they told me that was a typical breakfast at their house. ( the ingredients, not the amounts ) Oy!! And here I am trimming the "excess" fat off of boneless, skinless, chicken breasts.
Anyhow, there were some things that needed to be done in preparation for the party like picking up the cake from a very nice bakery out in the country. Picking up hors de overs, etc, etc. My Mother declares that she and I will pick up the cake, and run some other arrands before the party. I don't really think about it that much, but tell her that I would rather have her stay at home and relax and that I could take care of everything. She insists on coming with me.
Okay, whatever...
As we are pulling into the bakery parking lot, my Mom tells me that she needs to talk to me about something. Naturally, I tell her certainly and just sit there waiting to hear whats on her mind. She then tells me (very politely, as is my mothers manner ) that if I didn't have the money to cover my share of the cost of the party, that my Father and she would gladly pay it for me...
(cue sound of a needle being scratched across a record)
"Umm, Mom, I don't know what you're talking about.... "
"Well, your Brother told me that he hasn't heard anything from you about the money needed to cover your half of the event. "
(Deafening silence....)
"Mom, thats because I was never told that I was expected to pay for half of it, by anyone... "
"Also, I was never sent any emails by anyone outlining the event, the menu, the cost.. This is the absolute first I've heard of it. "
I mean really, you could have knocked my ass over with a feather.....
I... Was... Pissed...
I explained to her with a calmness that could have only been granted from a supernatural source, that I hadn't recieved a single letter, email, or phone call about any of it. Nobody had consulted me about anything - menu, drinks, theme, anything..
I was more than a little put out to say the least.. But, I wasn't going to ruin their anniversary by causing a scene with my brother and his wife. How I held my composure is completely beyond me. Honestly...
(I wanted to walk into the garage, grab a shovel and beat the fucking pancakes out of him and his wife! )
Needless to say, the time came and I drove my Mother and Father to the party, which was being hosted at their closest friends home. These are people that are my Godparents, and truly salt of the earth. ( they have been friends for 52 years, can you imagine that?!) It was a small, and intimate affair, with all of my Mothers sisters there. She has 4 sisters, and only one still has a husband that is still alive.
In the midst of family and the closest of friends, a lifetime of 50 years of marriage was celebrated, toasted, and cried over. War, sickness, endless moves, injustices, you name it and they suffered it. And through all that, they survived intact.
It is bloody well amazing. Jesus, my own marriage only lasted 5 1/2 years.. That generation was just made up of a different stock of folks. We are all soft, little, ninny babies compared to them. They just dug in with everything they had, and rode out the storms of life because thats all they could do.. It's all they knew how to do.. Quitting was never an option, not for them. I really don't know when, or where we lost the qualities they possess.. But, that was a sad day indeed..
The tears and champagne flowed, toasts were made, and I stood in awe of the strength of the love between them.
Amazing..
And next:
The Rest of the Trip.
So, where were we?
Ah yes, the day before the anniversary party..
Well, that evening was a grand old time. My Mother, Father, Brother, and Sister in law all sat around catching up on each others lives. It was marvelous to sit and have a drink with all of the immediate family in the same room. Keep in mind that this hasn't happened in 2 years, so it was something of an event.
Many martinis were quaffed, dirty jokes told, and laughs had by all. I could see by the gleam in my parents eyes that just have the 5 of us in the same place meant the world to them. After a while the folks went to bed and my Brother and I stayed up talking. I haven't done that in years, and it was good to spend a little time together. He seemed happy with how his life was going, his new job, and his marriage. In fact, I felt a twinge of envy at how stable and solid his life seemed compared to mine.
The next morning we all gathered around the dining room table and enjoyed a breakfast that could have quite possibly clogged the arteries of a herd of oxen! Jesus, I had forgotten how my brother cooks breakfast. Picture this, 5 people: a dozen scrambled eggs, a pound of fried bacon, 12 buttermilk biscuits, hash browns, salsa, jelly, jam, coffee, juice, toast, butter, and every other condiment you can imagine. The American Heart Association diet it certainly was not!
Of course I was chastised for not eating enough by my brother, but Christ on the Cross! There was no way I was going to load up on that stuff.. I've suffered for the last year trying to get my diet "clean". Eating more than one stick of bacon would give me Napalm caliber heartburn..
Man, I worry about his health. I mentioned it to my mother and father as they told me that was a typical breakfast at their house. ( the ingredients, not the amounts ) Oy!! And here I am trimming the "excess" fat off of boneless, skinless, chicken breasts.
Anyhow, there were some things that needed to be done in preparation for the party like picking up the cake from a very nice bakery out in the country. Picking up hors de overs, etc, etc. My Mother declares that she and I will pick up the cake, and run some other arrands before the party. I don't really think about it that much, but tell her that I would rather have her stay at home and relax and that I could take care of everything. She insists on coming with me.
Okay, whatever...
As we are pulling into the bakery parking lot, my Mom tells me that she needs to talk to me about something. Naturally, I tell her certainly and just sit there waiting to hear whats on her mind. She then tells me (very politely, as is my mothers manner ) that if I didn't have the money to cover my share of the cost of the party, that my Father and she would gladly pay it for me...
(cue sound of a needle being scratched across a record)
"Umm, Mom, I don't know what you're talking about.... "
"Well, your Brother told me that he hasn't heard anything from you about the money needed to cover your half of the event. "
(Deafening silence....)
"Mom, thats because I was never told that I was expected to pay for half of it, by anyone... "
"Also, I was never sent any emails by anyone outlining the event, the menu, the cost.. This is the absolute first I've heard of it. "
I mean really, you could have knocked my ass over with a feather.....
I... Was... Pissed...
I explained to her with a calmness that could have only been granted from a supernatural source, that I hadn't recieved a single letter, email, or phone call about any of it. Nobody had consulted me about anything - menu, drinks, theme, anything..
I was more than a little put out to say the least.. But, I wasn't going to ruin their anniversary by causing a scene with my brother and his wife. How I held my composure is completely beyond me. Honestly...
(I wanted to walk into the garage, grab a shovel and beat the fucking pancakes out of him and his wife! )
Needless to say, the time came and I drove my Mother and Father to the party, which was being hosted at their closest friends home. These are people that are my Godparents, and truly salt of the earth. ( they have been friends for 52 years, can you imagine that?!) It was a small, and intimate affair, with all of my Mothers sisters there. She has 4 sisters, and only one still has a husband that is still alive.
In the midst of family and the closest of friends, a lifetime of 50 years of marriage was celebrated, toasted, and cried over. War, sickness, endless moves, injustices, you name it and they suffered it. And through all that, they survived intact.
It is bloody well amazing. Jesus, my own marriage only lasted 5 1/2 years.. That generation was just made up of a different stock of folks. We are all soft, little, ninny babies compared to them. They just dug in with everything they had, and rode out the storms of life because thats all they could do.. It's all they knew how to do.. Quitting was never an option, not for them. I really don't know when, or where we lost the qualities they possess.. But, that was a sad day indeed..
The tears and champagne flowed, toasts were made, and I stood in awe of the strength of the love between them.
Amazing..
And next:
The Rest of the Trip.
Comments
Glad to read that you have been relaxing. I am envious of your parents' long marriage. I agree with your assessment that things have, somewhere along the road, drastically changed. Must have to do with our (womens') not feeling like we were living up to our capacity by being passive (house)wives...we have changed our profile by working and mothering but at the same time very little regarding expectations placed upon us has evolved. The technology boom has also greatly changed the chemistry, in so many cases, of marriage.
Had my father not died at 59, they would have celebrated their 40th this year. My in-laws celebrated their 50th this past summer but, due to problems in my own marriage I sent my children on out with my husband to celebrate that event. I did not feel right attending.
I am interested in hearing what the #$%&* your sibling(s?) were thinking in not contacting you regarding the financial arrangements for the celebration. Bless your mother for trying to communicate so well with you on what can be such a touchy topic...and you were very gracious in your response to her. So...do things get bloody??? :)
Be well.