Dogwatch Thoughts..
I really need to post here a little more often. I've sort of been neglecting this little blog of mine. But, there have been some really good reasons for that over the last couple of weeks.
I decided that its time to make some changes in my life. So, I've been getting some things in order. Things that I've been putting off for a long time.
I enrolled at a local University and start class on the 15th of this month. It's just time to put my nose to the grindstone and finish my degree. I only have 14 classes left, and I should be able to knock them out in a year if I really apply myself. It isn't going to be a walk in the park by any means, but I just have to do it.
I'm just tired of my current work situation. The current job I have is a dead end. I can't go any higher in my current position, and even if I could , I wouldn't want too. It just doesn't satisfy me at the end of the day. It's just a way to pay the rent, and put food in the fridge. Education is going to be the best way out of here. It's something that can't be taken away from you once you earn it.
I think a lot of the motivation for this was the job in Texas falling through, It really lit a fire under my ass. I'm sick of banking on long shots, and begging for scraps from someone Else's table. I'm done with all that. It's a rigged game, and I'm not playing it anymore...Ever...
I'm going to go immediately into a Master's program when I finish the undergrad degree. Hell, I might as well as the government will be paying for it. ( thank You Army ) And I need to use up the benefits. When I get the graduate degree I'll have worlds more options that I do right now. And that's exactly what I need, options. For a few years now I haven't had any of those at all unless you count the option to just resign and leave. I've felt trapped and most of that has been due to the fact that I goofed off and screwed around when I was younger rather than doing the work and completing school. What a mistake that was! It's time to make it right.
It's time to make the doughnuts, folks..
I've also been doing some organizing at the apartment that I haven't even attempted since I moved in almost 2 years ago. I'm trying to make it more of a home and less like a holding cell in a jail. I'll be down here for at least 2 1/2 more years to finish school and I might as well make it a nice, comforting place to be. I've lived with semi unpacked boxes since 2004, always anticipating moving away from here "in the next few months". I finally realized that this wasn't helping my mental outlook at all. In fact it was making it worse always living in "standby" mode. So, I'm going through stuff and pitching what I don't need or want. Theres also a few trips to the new Ikea I can see in the near future to get some much needed furniture like some nightstands for the bedroom, and a sleeper sofa for starters.
Time is something I just can't afford to waste anymore. I'm not sure if anyone else has ever experienced this feeling, but it's an urgency I just can't ignore. I'll be goddamned if I'm just going to settle for the way my life is, and has been for the last few years.. Not gonna happen. I want bigger and better things for myself. This eeking out an existence, and nibbling government cheese might be fine for the people I work with, but I just can't stand it any more. I need to be around achievers and movers/shakers. I can't stand the "welfare mentality" I've been surrounded by for the last 7 years.. It's a nasty, depressing, almost smothering attitude and I'm sick of it.. I never realized how infectious that stuff can be..
But, I have no more excuses for not getting on with it.. No girlfriend, no pets, nothing to hold me back. My mind is where it needs to be. It's time to make my place among the stars...
t-minus 10,9,8,7,6,5.........
I decided that its time to make some changes in my life. So, I've been getting some things in order. Things that I've been putting off for a long time.
I enrolled at a local University and start class on the 15th of this month. It's just time to put my nose to the grindstone and finish my degree. I only have 14 classes left, and I should be able to knock them out in a year if I really apply myself. It isn't going to be a walk in the park by any means, but I just have to do it.
I'm just tired of my current work situation. The current job I have is a dead end. I can't go any higher in my current position, and even if I could , I wouldn't want too. It just doesn't satisfy me at the end of the day. It's just a way to pay the rent, and put food in the fridge. Education is going to be the best way out of here. It's something that can't be taken away from you once you earn it.
I think a lot of the motivation for this was the job in Texas falling through, It really lit a fire under my ass. I'm sick of banking on long shots, and begging for scraps from someone Else's table. I'm done with all that. It's a rigged game, and I'm not playing it anymore...Ever...
I'm going to go immediately into a Master's program when I finish the undergrad degree. Hell, I might as well as the government will be paying for it. ( thank You Army ) And I need to use up the benefits. When I get the graduate degree I'll have worlds more options that I do right now. And that's exactly what I need, options. For a few years now I haven't had any of those at all unless you count the option to just resign and leave. I've felt trapped and most of that has been due to the fact that I goofed off and screwed around when I was younger rather than doing the work and completing school. What a mistake that was! It's time to make it right.
It's time to make the doughnuts, folks..
I've also been doing some organizing at the apartment that I haven't even attempted since I moved in almost 2 years ago. I'm trying to make it more of a home and less like a holding cell in a jail. I'll be down here for at least 2 1/2 more years to finish school and I might as well make it a nice, comforting place to be. I've lived with semi unpacked boxes since 2004, always anticipating moving away from here "in the next few months". I finally realized that this wasn't helping my mental outlook at all. In fact it was making it worse always living in "standby" mode. So, I'm going through stuff and pitching what I don't need or want. Theres also a few trips to the new Ikea I can see in the near future to get some much needed furniture like some nightstands for the bedroom, and a sleeper sofa for starters.
Time is something I just can't afford to waste anymore. I'm not sure if anyone else has ever experienced this feeling, but it's an urgency I just can't ignore. I'll be goddamned if I'm just going to settle for the way my life is, and has been for the last few years.. Not gonna happen. I want bigger and better things for myself. This eeking out an existence, and nibbling government cheese might be fine for the people I work with, but I just can't stand it any more. I need to be around achievers and movers/shakers. I can't stand the "welfare mentality" I've been surrounded by for the last 7 years.. It's a nasty, depressing, almost smothering attitude and I'm sick of it.. I never realized how infectious that stuff can be..
But, I have no more excuses for not getting on with it.. No girlfriend, no pets, nothing to hold me back. My mind is where it needs to be. It's time to make my place among the stars...
t-minus 10,9,8,7,6,5.........
Comments
I just love it when someone takes the bull by the horns and starts directing their own life instead of letting life direct them.
You are so gonna kick ass Wobbly - i know it.
~tackling you for a second hug~
(sorry... i'm greedy like that)
I'm with Kota on the huggy action. You go, girl!
Your education is insurance--you always have that to fall back upon and, as you said, NOBODY can take that from you. On top of that, you can rest knowing you did it all yourself. Yeah, get that Masters too. I agree, if someone else pays, do it. I was paid to do mine. Lucky me. Now look at what I get to do with it.
Just an anecdote: The exact day after I had let my father know I turned in all of my work to complete my Masters, and my sister the weekend before had informed us that she only had her hospital practicum to do for her masters in PT, he died. It was as if he was waiting to hear that we had completed our insurance policies and knew that, no matter what, we could take care of ourselves.
Now, and for the past year and a half with huge changes in my personal and professional life, it is my degree that gives me the confidence to do what I need to do. I don't regret not continuing for the PhD. That would over-qualify me for so much. I am a master at my trade. I am proud of that. And I am good. And that, my dear Windy, is helping to drive my success in following this dream heretofore unimaginable in my life...with people contacting me asking me for more.
I am proud of you--as both a friend and as an educator--and hope you won't forget to check in here to keep us posted on where this Life's Highway takes you!
YIPPEE FOR YOU!
Be well, Windy.
Either way, here I Go... No other choice than to just jump off the cliff.
Mapi- It's been long overdue. And It's just been nagging at me... A little voice in my head saying "get the education finished". I need to do that for my Mom and Dad while they're still here. I need them to see that so they will be at ease..
Charlie- You have no need to be fearful at all.. You have more strength than you know.
When I read all that you have been through in the last year I was absolutely gobsmacked. Really.. I think that you are quite the remarkable person for holding together so well.