Just an Observation..
Some people just can't handle being alone. I'm not exactly sure why but they just seem incapable of not having someone in their lives. It really makes me wonder why this is.
I work around a bunch of guys who all have recently gotten divorced in the last year and a half. Most of their divorces were messy and expensive. ( as they often are.. ) And not one of them waited even 2 months before they hooked up with someone else. In fact 3 of them have already moved in with the new partner. This just baffles me... I truly don't get it..
I wonder what it is in these guys that makes them this way? I mean, I can see a brief rebound relationship where all you want to do is party, have sex, and just have a good time. But, moving in with someone is a serious thing indeed. Very serious in my eyes. Sharing my daily action space, living quarters, and all the other associated things is a huge commitment to me. And certainly not one I take lightly. In fact, this would only happen after a long period of observation and really getting to know them.
Not just "shacking up" because I don't want to come home to an empty apartment. No way... That seems to me a prime time recipe for disaster. Sooner or later the limmerance phase wanes and you get down to finding out that you really aren't compatible with this other person at all. Now you get to go through all the emotional, and financial turmoil of moving out, or having them move out.. Screw that..
Maybe it's "Baby Boy" syndrome. By that I mean that these guys need a mommy figure to be with them. Someone to cook dinner, do the laundry, and basically take care of the daily needs rather than do it for themselves.
I just don't get it. I like my "Man Cave". I don't have to consult anyone else on what I hang on the walls ( a 9 foot alligator hide, and a Mahi-Mahi taxidermy mount if you must know ) . I can throw my socks on the floor if I wish. I can have a martini for breakfast, and watch tv all night. It definately has it's positives. No one steals all my closet space, or the covers, or complains that my compound bow is in the dining room and my pistol is on the coffee table. Yes, it can be a rather spartan existance but it's my existance and I am truly the king of my castle..
I can tell I'm getting old. Sex just isn't all that important to me anymore. Maybe it's body image issues, apathy, or who knows what. Don't get me wrong, I have desires, but I can take care of them just fine myself. I guess I've just outgrown the need to constantly be out "there" chasing everything in heels and a skirt all the time. It's the intimacy that attracts me, and the Hunt. The Kill is secondary. And I sure don't feel the want or desire for any one night stands either. I'm WAY over that shit.
Maybe someday I'll get back in the game and all that sillyness. But not now. I've got too many other things that need to be done now. But it still makes me wonder why some folks just think they'll wither and die without having somone else in their lives constantly..
P.S. has anyone else noticed that the spell check function on Blogger isn't working anymore?
I work around a bunch of guys who all have recently gotten divorced in the last year and a half. Most of their divorces were messy and expensive. ( as they often are.. ) And not one of them waited even 2 months before they hooked up with someone else. In fact 3 of them have already moved in with the new partner. This just baffles me... I truly don't get it..
I wonder what it is in these guys that makes them this way? I mean, I can see a brief rebound relationship where all you want to do is party, have sex, and just have a good time. But, moving in with someone is a serious thing indeed. Very serious in my eyes. Sharing my daily action space, living quarters, and all the other associated things is a huge commitment to me. And certainly not one I take lightly. In fact, this would only happen after a long period of observation and really getting to know them.
Not just "shacking up" because I don't want to come home to an empty apartment. No way... That seems to me a prime time recipe for disaster. Sooner or later the limmerance phase wanes and you get down to finding out that you really aren't compatible with this other person at all. Now you get to go through all the emotional, and financial turmoil of moving out, or having them move out.. Screw that..
Maybe it's "Baby Boy" syndrome. By that I mean that these guys need a mommy figure to be with them. Someone to cook dinner, do the laundry, and basically take care of the daily needs rather than do it for themselves.
I just don't get it. I like my "Man Cave". I don't have to consult anyone else on what I hang on the walls ( a 9 foot alligator hide, and a Mahi-Mahi taxidermy mount if you must know ) . I can throw my socks on the floor if I wish. I can have a martini for breakfast, and watch tv all night. It definately has it's positives. No one steals all my closet space, or the covers, or complains that my compound bow is in the dining room and my pistol is on the coffee table. Yes, it can be a rather spartan existance but it's my existance and I am truly the king of my castle..
I can tell I'm getting old. Sex just isn't all that important to me anymore. Maybe it's body image issues, apathy, or who knows what. Don't get me wrong, I have desires, but I can take care of them just fine myself. I guess I've just outgrown the need to constantly be out "there" chasing everything in heels and a skirt all the time. It's the intimacy that attracts me, and the Hunt. The Kill is secondary. And I sure don't feel the want or desire for any one night stands either. I'm WAY over that shit.
Maybe someday I'll get back in the game and all that sillyness. But not now. I've got too many other things that need to be done now. But it still makes me wonder why some folks just think they'll wither and die without having somone else in their lives constantly..
P.S. has anyone else noticed that the spell check function on Blogger isn't working anymore?
Comments
Your note on intimacy struck me. That is so true, the "sex" part we all can, as a mere physiological fulfillment of basic human need, take care of. But to anecdote: I was with a dear friend yesterday who is going through a lot in her marriage and told me that all she wishes that night (last night) she could do is to sleep naked next to her husband. Nothing more, nothing less...just no barriers, skin to skin, warmth to warmth as that alone can communicate so much about trust, confidence, maturity, etc.
And I just started to cry.
She, of course, began to apologize and all that, and I said that no, there is no need for apology. I miss intimacy. I miss human contact. I don't want her or anyone else pussy-footing around the issue, either, just to placate me. I feel, and I feel hard. That is just Who I Am. And yes, like you, am not willing to sacrifice my values, beliefs, anything for a mere one-night fulfillment which will leave me so much more empty than I already feel.
Duuude...
(sigh)
Good words, good thoughts. You don't doubt yourself and your strength gives me strength. Thank you.
Be well, Windy.
I didn't mean "I feel hard." Ugh.
I mean I EMOTE and EMOTE FREELY.
Note to self: must choose words better in English.
You sound like a male version of me...I have not had a man live with me since I shot my last husband..which might have scared a few of the guys off, but mainly because I don't want a man living with me again...(doesn't mean I want a woman either)..I like sleeping as late as I want, eating what I want and when I want,watching the tv shows I want(no one touches my remote). I always thought even if I found the perfect someone for me, we would have to have seperate houses...It's not that I am hard to get along with or set in my ways even if that is all true..it's just that I have no desire to change who I am for someone else..that time has long passes...this is me..fat ass and baggy titties and I'm not changing for anyone..
I tell my 34 year old daughter who has gone from one boyfriend to one manfriend to another. that before she can find happiness with a man she needs time to be alone and find out who she is and what she wants before she jumps in and starts changing for him or having him change for her...I think she finally is getting it as for the first time since she was 20 she is living alone and doesn't have someone major in her life...
and as for you .....I'd rather have the mai mai on my plate..with some silvered almonds and butter sauce..
I'm getting too old for all the games, and chest thumping, and putting on aires , and all the ritual that goes along with it. I'd rather stay alone than to be with someone who wants to either change me, or vice versa.
And on top of it all, I want to be with someone who really wants to be with me because of who I really am. And not because I happen to be the best thing wandering by and they need some guy to fill in the void they have. ( no pun intended )
I'm not going to go through the motions unless theres really something there.
Granny - Hell! You're my kinda Gal!
We are a lot alike.. That is true. It's only since 2004 when I kicked that lying hussy I was married to out of my life that I started to feel that way. I took a long time for ol' windrider to finally get the picture.
I'll go to my grave before I'll let anyone else try to change my, or me them.. That is called living in a fantasy world.
This is me, warts and all Honey! I am what I am. And If you don't like it, or think you're gonna change it you may as well just keep moving along because you're only going to get your feelings hurt doing that. But, I offer the same in return.
I've often thought about the separate house idea. I think It's a good idea. You have have yours, I have mine. If I wan't to live in a house decorated by "Wild Kingdom" thats my business. And if you want to do yours with ducks with bows around thier necks, or whatever you can have at it. Do your thing.
I hope your daughter learns the lesson. Too many women especially feel pressured to hook up with someone because they seem "odd" or "broken" if they choose to be alone rather than arm in arm with some douchebag who has the emotional IQ of a 6th grader.
Be well Ladies,
(tips hat in best Robet Duvall style, and rides off into the sunset...)