Sudden closure..

At first I really wasn't sure if that was you when you walked in. Our glance at each other was less than a second.... But it lasted forever when our eyes locked as you and he walked in and headed down the wine isle.

But I'd recognise those eyes anywhere. I didn't smile and neither again you. Both of us were unsure if what we were seeing was really what our emotions had spiked on. And then we both went on with our lives..

You looked sad, almost hollow inside. Like you weren't happy with your life, or situation. See, I studied you closely when we were together and you had my heart. I learned every nuance of your face, and your body language. I knew you inside and out. That unbridled happiness that you had inside you that drew me like a moth to a flame wasn't there any more. The happy, million dollar smile was gone from your face and your soul. I could see that you had settled for what was out there. It made me sad. You've aged since I last saw your face. I saw a lifetine that was lost in that half a second. All of the things we could have been, and all of the things we were....

I paid for my purchase and walked out the electric doors into the balmy night towards my jeep. I looked back inside the store hoping for a glance to confirm identity further but you and he had vanished. For a second I wondered if what I had seen had been real, but knew that it was. As sure as I knew I was breathing. I limbed into my jeep and fired the ignition, remembering the times we spent adventuring together in it.

I remembered the otter kitten we followed at 1 mile an hour in four wheel drive way out in the wildlife management area, watching and laughing at how it would run ahead ten paces and then lay down in the trail and look at us. I remebered your childlike wonder when I would take you deep into the Everglades and show you the beauty that was there. I remembered your kiss, and your smile, and the feel of your skin on mine.. Just for a brief second.... And it made me smile.

I sat for a moment feeling the rough idle of the old straight six engine as the A/C sucked the humidity out of the inside. I scanned the parking lot for the familiar subaru forester that you had driven while while we were together. I contemplated waiting to actually confirm that it was you I had seen, and then immediately wondered "why?".

So I drove off into the night. Away from that place and to the place where I lay my head at night these days. Pondering what it all had meant. Then begrudgingly smiled, realizing that it was just another lesson life was throwing at me when I least wanted it or expected it.

And I know that after that, I'll never see you again......

And thats ok.