Urgency and Dissapointment...
Time feels like its screaming past me right now. Like a bottle rocket shrieking over my head. It feels like there aren't enough hours in the day to take care of everything. I know there are enough of them, but right now it doesn't feel like it to me.
The fact that school starts up again tonight at 6:00 pm. Its the last thing I need with this move going on, but I just couldn't justify not taking classes. But to be honest my heart just isn't in it at the moment.
I'm so freaking ready for a vacation. A vacation all for myself. Going home is alright, but it isn't the same as laying on a beach in the Caribbean doing nothing but trying to break Hemingway's daiquiri record. But, I can't see that happening anytime in the near future. There is just too much to do... Such is life.
Today was a real pisser. Once and for all, my supervisor showed his true, ungrateful, racist colors. This time of the year is when we receive our annual review. If you did well you can receive pay bonuses. Well, after a year of being a Union rep in my division and helping his sorry ass time and time again he decides that the best way to say "Thank you" was to shaft me. That's right, nada... BUT, his little Hispanic buddies got them.. Go figure... The same ones that don't lift a finger at work, and stir up drama at the turn of every corner.
I gave him a piece of my mind. He didn't know what to say, other than to stand there and make excuses, and tell lies. I didn't bring the racial issue up, but I called him on his shit. I told him that I had worked my ass off to help him in some very sensitive personnel issues, helped him write memo after memo ( which wasn't my job to do ) etc, etc and then asked him how he could stand there and say that there were other people who had done more than I had. I really wanted to punch him in his fat, lying mouth...
Sigh...
I really have to get busy at the apartment. I just don't feel like I've made enough headway as far as the move goes. So that's on the agenda for the next couple of weeks. I need to focus on that, rather than all the shit at work. I just can't invest the energy on it.
Say a prayer for Leah please. She's having open heart surgery again today to replace her aortic valve. This is her 4th or 5th surgery on her heart. I can't even imagine. She's one tough young lady! And all this while the mess in Gaza is going on... Like I said, I can't even imagine....
The fact that school starts up again tonight at 6:00 pm. Its the last thing I need with this move going on, but I just couldn't justify not taking classes. But to be honest my heart just isn't in it at the moment.
I'm so freaking ready for a vacation. A vacation all for myself. Going home is alright, but it isn't the same as laying on a beach in the Caribbean doing nothing but trying to break Hemingway's daiquiri record. But, I can't see that happening anytime in the near future. There is just too much to do... Such is life.
Today was a real pisser. Once and for all, my supervisor showed his true, ungrateful, racist colors. This time of the year is when we receive our annual review. If you did well you can receive pay bonuses. Well, after a year of being a Union rep in my division and helping his sorry ass time and time again he decides that the best way to say "Thank you" was to shaft me. That's right, nada... BUT, his little Hispanic buddies got them.. Go figure... The same ones that don't lift a finger at work, and stir up drama at the turn of every corner.
I gave him a piece of my mind. He didn't know what to say, other than to stand there and make excuses, and tell lies. I didn't bring the racial issue up, but I called him on his shit. I told him that I had worked my ass off to help him in some very sensitive personnel issues, helped him write memo after memo ( which wasn't my job to do ) etc, etc and then asked him how he could stand there and say that there were other people who had done more than I had. I really wanted to punch him in his fat, lying mouth...
Sigh...
I really have to get busy at the apartment. I just don't feel like I've made enough headway as far as the move goes. So that's on the agenda for the next couple of weeks. I need to focus on that, rather than all the shit at work. I just can't invest the energy on it.
Say a prayer for Leah please. She's having open heart surgery again today to replace her aortic valve. This is her 4th or 5th surgery on her heart. I can't even imagine. She's one tough young lady! And all this while the mess in Gaza is going on... Like I said, I can't even imagine....
Comments
I feel strong; I've sent her strength all day.
I cannot WAIT for you to finish this degree so you can high-tail it OUT of where you are now. Treading water is hard enough; worse when you have no motivation whatsoever.
Hang in there. I know the going gets tough. Take your break--whenever you can, you need to. It doesn't have to be long to be a recharge, trust me. Sometimes just the slightest change of scenery for a day or two can make all the difference.
Be well, Windy.