Why do I feel this Way?
Something's happening..
The closing of a chapter, the end of an era, or whatever you want to call it. But something's ending, and another's beginning.
For better or for worse. And it isn't optional, its mandatory. And I'm not sure why, but it hurts.. Like a scab being scratched off. Or a pimple on the rim of your lip that just hurts like hell, or a hangnail that won't leave you alone. A nagging, shitty, irritant that you are shackled with.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
I took a drive this morning. I drove to a place I hadn't been in years, just to see if it still existed. I'm not sure of what I saw. But I didn't like it. It was a place shrouded in dust, and cockroach parts. One of those abandoned areas inside all of us that we act as if don't exist.
But they do.
It made my hands shake. It made my throat dry as a bone, and brought that acrid, metallic taste to my mouth that only happens just before something scary, or supernatural occurs. I know it well. Its the one that makes you feel your heartbeat in your teeth, and every agonizing regret you've ever had. It makes you invisible. Completely, and utterly, invisible. You cease to matter.
I hovered for a few brief minutes, orbiting the area. I felt like I was in hostile territory. And I guess in a way, I was. I felt naked, even though I was wrapped in steel. I was an Intruder into a place that had been silent for years. It felt wrong being back there. Like I was desecrating a grave, or other hallowed ground.
My presence wasn't wanted there. I was unwelcome, even though it was 4 in the morning and I was a ghost. It made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.
Why I went back there I have no clue.
The closing of a chapter, the end of an era, or whatever you want to call it. But something's ending, and another's beginning.
For better or for worse. And it isn't optional, its mandatory. And I'm not sure why, but it hurts.. Like a scab being scratched off. Or a pimple on the rim of your lip that just hurts like hell, or a hangnail that won't leave you alone. A nagging, shitty, irritant that you are shackled with.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
I took a drive this morning. I drove to a place I hadn't been in years, just to see if it still existed. I'm not sure of what I saw. But I didn't like it. It was a place shrouded in dust, and cockroach parts. One of those abandoned areas inside all of us that we act as if don't exist.
But they do.
It made my hands shake. It made my throat dry as a bone, and brought that acrid, metallic taste to my mouth that only happens just before something scary, or supernatural occurs. I know it well. Its the one that makes you feel your heartbeat in your teeth, and every agonizing regret you've ever had. It makes you invisible. Completely, and utterly, invisible. You cease to matter.
I hovered for a few brief minutes, orbiting the area. I felt like I was in hostile territory. And I guess in a way, I was. I felt naked, even though I was wrapped in steel. I was an Intruder into a place that had been silent for years. It felt wrong being back there. Like I was desecrating a grave, or other hallowed ground.
My presence wasn't wanted there. I was unwelcome, even though it was 4 in the morning and I was a ghost. It made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.
Why I went back there I have no clue.
Comments
Hope you're having a good weekend, Windy. Be well.
I've been working like a rented mule for the last few days. The move has been just terrible.
Terrible.
I may post about it after a while, and then again, I may not.
This post was a trip down a street at 4am that I'd made many a time before. Only times had changed.. I was idling down a dark piece of asphalt where it felt like specters, and ghouls were awakened by my presence.
And I honestly felt like I was being watched as I went by twice..
It actually unnerved me quite a bit.