The trip Home pt 1
I touched down at the Ft lauderdale Intl Airport yesterday at about 4:35 pm EST.
It had been a rather uneventful flight back to Florida. My pal Jamie came and picked me up outside the airport. It was nice to have a human being pick me up and ask how the trip was, versus walking to the jeep alone and fighting rush hour traffic all the way to the apartment across town.
We stopped at a little Irish pub/restaurant called "The Field" and had a few drinks, and a bite to eat. We caught up on the latest happenings in each others lives and just relaxed for a little while. I have to admit I really liked the transition, and opportunity to wind down a bit before heading back to the empty apartment. We sar and just enjoyed the time, then he drove me back over to my place.
He came up to use the can before heading out on a "quasi date" with a woman he was introduced to via a friend. I had to head inside first to make sure the place was secure, and also presentable. I'm glad did.. There were about 5 dead "palmetto bugs" ( aka: large roaches ) dead in various places inside. I cleaned them up and let him use the facilities.
It was really odd to be alone again after a week of constant contact with people all the time. It was like the world just got put on "pause" all the sudden. After the constant chatter and sounds of my mom and dad around me it was a bit disconcerting to have stillness all around me. i had to turn on the tv for a while.
I went and unpacked my suitcase in my bedroom and realized how much of a caveman I've become. I mean, my mother's house is so decorated and organized. It smells nice, it looks nice, it's inviting and welcoming.... My apartment is like a hunting cabin full of boxes, ammunition, and clutter. It made me a bit sad. I made a mental note to see to getting the clutter dealt with and making this place more of a home.
I was really, really bushed and ordered a small pizza and just chilled out on the sofa for the night. I was in bed by 11:30 and slept soundly until 9 am . After that I just layed in the bed and drowsed until 12pm.
I got up and took a shower, washing the last of Texas off me for a number of months. I headed out into the den to wander around. I was really missing my mom and dad being around me. The lack of other people was almost painful. But, this is my life for at least the next 2 years. So, I might as well deal with it .
I sat in front of the laptop and stewed for a while. ( I just can't lie about that, I was having a "woe is me" moment ) I was feeling the beginnings of the pity party that I have every time I come home. I really didn't want all that drama to start, as all it does is make the whole day miserable. I forced myself to get up and do something productive. I started to feel a bit better, and decided to just get out of the house and take care of some needed things. ( groceries, haircut/color, etc. )
That was the best thing I could have done. I came back centered, and in my right mind... I realized that this is just a temporary stop on my tour of this planet. I'll be back there soon enough. I realized that I need to enjoy the time I have here in this current place I live. Because, it will be nothing but a memory, an alligator skin on the wall, and a photograph before I know it. I need to appreciate it for what it is..
Because when it's gone, it will never come again. Not the people, the smells, the sounds, or the feelings. It will simply fade into the place of "archival memory" in my mind. I want to like in the "NOW" and not in the "when", and "IF"
I'll write next on the thoughts/experiences I had at home..
It had been a rather uneventful flight back to Florida. My pal Jamie came and picked me up outside the airport. It was nice to have a human being pick me up and ask how the trip was, versus walking to the jeep alone and fighting rush hour traffic all the way to the apartment across town.
We stopped at a little Irish pub/restaurant called "The Field" and had a few drinks, and a bite to eat. We caught up on the latest happenings in each others lives and just relaxed for a little while. I have to admit I really liked the transition, and opportunity to wind down a bit before heading back to the empty apartment. We sar and just enjoyed the time, then he drove me back over to my place.
He came up to use the can before heading out on a "quasi date" with a woman he was introduced to via a friend. I had to head inside first to make sure the place was secure, and also presentable. I'm glad did.. There were about 5 dead "palmetto bugs" ( aka: large roaches ) dead in various places inside. I cleaned them up and let him use the facilities.
It was really odd to be alone again after a week of constant contact with people all the time. It was like the world just got put on "pause" all the sudden. After the constant chatter and sounds of my mom and dad around me it was a bit disconcerting to have stillness all around me. i had to turn on the tv for a while.
I went and unpacked my suitcase in my bedroom and realized how much of a caveman I've become. I mean, my mother's house is so decorated and organized. It smells nice, it looks nice, it's inviting and welcoming.... My apartment is like a hunting cabin full of boxes, ammunition, and clutter. It made me a bit sad. I made a mental note to see to getting the clutter dealt with and making this place more of a home.
I was really, really bushed and ordered a small pizza and just chilled out on the sofa for the night. I was in bed by 11:30 and slept soundly until 9 am . After that I just layed in the bed and drowsed until 12pm.
I got up and took a shower, washing the last of Texas off me for a number of months. I headed out into the den to wander around. I was really missing my mom and dad being around me. The lack of other people was almost painful. But, this is my life for at least the next 2 years. So, I might as well deal with it .
I sat in front of the laptop and stewed for a while. ( I just can't lie about that, I was having a "woe is me" moment ) I was feeling the beginnings of the pity party that I have every time I come home. I really didn't want all that drama to start, as all it does is make the whole day miserable. I forced myself to get up and do something productive. I started to feel a bit better, and decided to just get out of the house and take care of some needed things. ( groceries, haircut/color, etc. )
That was the best thing I could have done. I came back centered, and in my right mind... I realized that this is just a temporary stop on my tour of this planet. I'll be back there soon enough. I realized that I need to enjoy the time I have here in this current place I live. Because, it will be nothing but a memory, an alligator skin on the wall, and a photograph before I know it. I need to appreciate it for what it is..
Because when it's gone, it will never come again. Not the people, the smells, the sounds, or the feelings. It will simply fade into the place of "archival memory" in my mind. I want to like in the "NOW" and not in the "when", and "IF"
I'll write next on the thoughts/experiences I had at home..
Comments
Before the coma I took so many things for granted, walking, talking, thinking. Trying to make each day count now. Giving you a virtual hug. Thank you for the comments you have left me.
B'Ahavah, leah
A big hug right back!!! I still can't believe how far you've come in such a short period of time. It really is nothing short of a miracle.
I agree with you about the "now". I realized that for a long time now I've been living on dreams and hopes. And that's pretty shakey ground to stand on. I just can't do it anymore. Each moment is a blessing, and to not see it as such is a bad thing.
Ad me'ah ve'esrim shanah!
(this is supposed to say, "may you live to be 120" in Hebrew.. Please forgive me if it doesn't as I took it from a website.)
Be well Leah...
Matt