Midnight ramblings
I feel like I've been neglecting posting here for a couple of weeks. School has really been kicking me in the butt and I need to start budgeting my time a little better than I have been. I've caught myself procrastinating quite a bit, and that just has to stop.
My biggest problem has been the statistics class. I'm just not getting it. My teammate has stepped in and is heavily tutoring me. I hope it helps, because I have to make it through this class to graduate next may. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Overall, I feel restless. I guess I'm just getting tired of the same old routine here in south florida. I know, I know..... Same song, seven hundredth verse. I'll just be really glad when this chapter of my life is closed and I can move on to different horizons. What those will be, I can't tell just yet. But it has to be happier and more fulfilling than this current one. Hell, just being back home will probably lower my blood pressure 30 points on its own.
I just miss that place so much. Sure, I know that a lot of things have changed since I've been gone. But it's my home and always will be. It's funny. I spent years and years trying to get away from there, and know all I want is to get back to it.
Oh the irony.
I'm trying to figure out what type of job I'll likely have there. But I have to be careful not to make the grass too greener on the other side of the fence. I have a tendency to do that. And this has been something I've wanted for a long time.
I guess I just feel a sense of urgency to be near my Mom and Dad. My biggest regret would be losing one of them before I can get back home and spend time with them. That's one of my greatest fears. I know I'm going to lose them eventually, but I just feel like I've missed so much time that could have been spent with them. Time I will never be able to get back. I just don't want to miss the time we have left. I guess I'm realizing our mortality, and it scares the absolute shit out of me.
But, I can't dwell on that. It just depresses me.
It's such a shame that money is what holds us back from what we want. I mean, If I had a wheelbarrow full of thousand dollar bills none of this would be an issue. But, I don't and that's why I'm stuck here.
For now.........
My biggest problem has been the statistics class. I'm just not getting it. My teammate has stepped in and is heavily tutoring me. I hope it helps, because I have to make it through this class to graduate next may. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Overall, I feel restless. I guess I'm just getting tired of the same old routine here in south florida. I know, I know..... Same song, seven hundredth verse. I'll just be really glad when this chapter of my life is closed and I can move on to different horizons. What those will be, I can't tell just yet. But it has to be happier and more fulfilling than this current one. Hell, just being back home will probably lower my blood pressure 30 points on its own.
I just miss that place so much. Sure, I know that a lot of things have changed since I've been gone. But it's my home and always will be. It's funny. I spent years and years trying to get away from there, and know all I want is to get back to it.
Oh the irony.
I'm trying to figure out what type of job I'll likely have there. But I have to be careful not to make the grass too greener on the other side of the fence. I have a tendency to do that. And this has been something I've wanted for a long time.
I guess I just feel a sense of urgency to be near my Mom and Dad. My biggest regret would be losing one of them before I can get back home and spend time with them. That's one of my greatest fears. I know I'm going to lose them eventually, but I just feel like I've missed so much time that could have been spent with them. Time I will never be able to get back. I just don't want to miss the time we have left. I guess I'm realizing our mortality, and it scares the absolute shit out of me.
But, I can't dwell on that. It just depresses me.
It's such a shame that money is what holds us back from what we want. I mean, If I had a wheelbarrow full of thousand dollar bills none of this would be an issue. But, I don't and that's why I'm stuck here.
For now.........
Comments
Good luck with your statistics class.
I sympathize with you, I have 3 classes to finish, yuck.
Thank you for your prayers for Mishy.
B'Ahavah
It is nice to see you so wanting to be so close to your family. I'd love to be on the same side of the continent, but not too terribly close. I'd settle for same tri-state area somewhere.
Time for bed, went to a movie with she-ra tonight. That was nice--her hubby just left for a 6 month marine tour in Afghanistan yesterday. They are Corey's godparents.
Hard times for all.
Be well, Windy.