I just called in and took a sick day..
Yeah, I called in sick....
But I'm not really sick. I'm actually fine. I just DON'T want to be there today. This seems to be happening a lot lately. I'm tired of the politics, the backbiting, and the drama that seems to be my current working environment.
I'll probably get in a bit of trouble, but I really couldn't give a shit to be 100% honest with you. I have other priorities like my education to think about. I have assignments that are due in the next 2 days and I need to get them done. That degree is going to be my ticket out of Miami and back to San Antonio. If I have to take a slap on the wrist to ensure that I get said degree so be it. The Agency I work for has done absolutely nothing for me in the time I've worked for it. In fact, it has pretty much kicked me in the balls when I was down and laughed at me. So fuck them..
Priorities shifting make for strange emotions. Things that used to be important cease to be anything you place in the front of the line. Likewise, other items and situations that you never paid any attention to all of the sudden take center stage.
It's like standing on an area rug and having someone tug on it, pulling you in another direction. At first your balance is all screwed up and you struggle not to fall on your ass. But after a minute or so, you start to "surf" the instability. I guess that's what I'm learning to do right now, Surf the Instability.... It's not easy. I think that's why so many people just quit the ride rather than learn to get their balance.
I don't have that option. Not unless I want to stay down here in Miami, pissing and frittering my adult life away. There is nothing for me here.... Nothing... Just a federal job that barely pays the bills. No prosperous way of life, no family I can drive and see. Just traffic, and bills, and hassle. I'm nothing more than a hamster in a wheel running my ass of for little crumbs of government cheese, and the promise of a 40% retirement after 30 years of service. Some great reward....
I've had some fun times down here out in the wild. To claim I haven't would be untrue. But, if it wasn't for my experiences on the saltwater and in the Everglades all these years down here would truly have been a gigantic fucking waste of 7 years of my life. And that is the God's honest truth.
I'm grumpy right now as you can tell.
I'm concerned about a lot of things that I have zero control over. Such as: My parents, My Life and where it's going, Mishy and her recovery, Leah and her struggle, Mapi and the situation she's in, and a number of other things.
But I can't help it. I care, and I love, and I worry. I'm a protector, and believe it or not a care giver and what I see bothers me.
I'll be better in a Little while.
But I'm not really sick. I'm actually fine. I just DON'T want to be there today. This seems to be happening a lot lately. I'm tired of the politics, the backbiting, and the drama that seems to be my current working environment.
I'll probably get in a bit of trouble, but I really couldn't give a shit to be 100% honest with you. I have other priorities like my education to think about. I have assignments that are due in the next 2 days and I need to get them done. That degree is going to be my ticket out of Miami and back to San Antonio. If I have to take a slap on the wrist to ensure that I get said degree so be it. The Agency I work for has done absolutely nothing for me in the time I've worked for it. In fact, it has pretty much kicked me in the balls when I was down and laughed at me. So fuck them..
Priorities shifting make for strange emotions. Things that used to be important cease to be anything you place in the front of the line. Likewise, other items and situations that you never paid any attention to all of the sudden take center stage.
It's like standing on an area rug and having someone tug on it, pulling you in another direction. At first your balance is all screwed up and you struggle not to fall on your ass. But after a minute or so, you start to "surf" the instability. I guess that's what I'm learning to do right now, Surf the Instability.... It's not easy. I think that's why so many people just quit the ride rather than learn to get their balance.
I don't have that option. Not unless I want to stay down here in Miami, pissing and frittering my adult life away. There is nothing for me here.... Nothing... Just a federal job that barely pays the bills. No prosperous way of life, no family I can drive and see. Just traffic, and bills, and hassle. I'm nothing more than a hamster in a wheel running my ass of for little crumbs of government cheese, and the promise of a 40% retirement after 30 years of service. Some great reward....
I've had some fun times down here out in the wild. To claim I haven't would be untrue. But, if it wasn't for my experiences on the saltwater and in the Everglades all these years down here would truly have been a gigantic fucking waste of 7 years of my life. And that is the God's honest truth.
I'm grumpy right now as you can tell.
I'm concerned about a lot of things that I have zero control over. Such as: My parents, My Life and where it's going, Mishy and her recovery, Leah and her struggle, Mapi and the situation she's in, and a number of other things.
But I can't help it. I care, and I love, and I worry. I'm a protector, and believe it or not a care giver and what I see bothers me.
I'll be better in a Little while.
Comments
B'Ahavah
that made me giggle!
Don't you waste your energy worrying about little ol' me. I'm good--down health-wise a bit right now but give me a couple weeks and I'll be back on track, I promise.
And I think truth is going to come out to my mother, a big step, on this next trip out to Vegas next week with the kids.
And I see my health right now having a lot to do with the stress of my living situation. Another talk will have to occur and decisions have to be made. I just am so sick of having to be the one to do it, to always be the bad guy. That's stressful, too.
Enjoy your day as much as you can, Windy. I had a wonderful morning with some new friends that I had made this year. Things are working out in their own ways!
Be well, Windy.