Can't sleep tonight....
I had a post up and took it down a little while ago.
It just really didn't suit the mood I'm in right now.
I can't explain it. It's like there's a fire inside my bones that is just smouldering there. It isn't really for anyone in particular, but then again it is. It's for all the loves I've had in my life. Tall, short, blond, brunette, and redhead. I can see their faces, feel their skin, laughter and smiles. i can see them all in my mind.....
Every last one of them that I ever loved...
I really never did right by any of them as best I can recall.
Each one of them played a vital part, a tender part in my life, that was in its own way a remarkable thing to behold. Like a tender mercy that was granted into my life for a brief period of time. Like a beautiful sonnet played on the breeze for just a moment, it was not meant for them to stay.. Or like a beautiful bird on wing, magical to behold, but so brief in their time in my life..
I have held the silken hands of an angel, and gazed into the eyes of the flawless. I have been entrusted with hearts of the most fragile porcelain... I've kissed lips of unspeakable softness... I've held in my arms bodies of unspeakable beauty...
And for a fleeting lifetime was loved by them.
Where ever they are now, I have no idea. But where ever they may be I hope they're happy, and getting all the love they deserve. And they deserve tons, each and every one of them.
Especially after being foolish enough to fall in love with a man like me. I was (and still am ) a mighty leaky vessle to put a lot of hope into.... But one day I just might be solid, and one that is carved in stone..
And I hope that when I am , that I have at least one more angel alloted to me..
Windrider
It just really didn't suit the mood I'm in right now.
I can't explain it. It's like there's a fire inside my bones that is just smouldering there. It isn't really for anyone in particular, but then again it is. It's for all the loves I've had in my life. Tall, short, blond, brunette, and redhead. I can see their faces, feel their skin, laughter and smiles. i can see them all in my mind.....
Every last one of them that I ever loved...
I really never did right by any of them as best I can recall.
Each one of them played a vital part, a tender part in my life, that was in its own way a remarkable thing to behold. Like a tender mercy that was granted into my life for a brief period of time. Like a beautiful sonnet played on the breeze for just a moment, it was not meant for them to stay.. Or like a beautiful bird on wing, magical to behold, but so brief in their time in my life..
I have held the silken hands of an angel, and gazed into the eyes of the flawless. I have been entrusted with hearts of the most fragile porcelain... I've kissed lips of unspeakable softness... I've held in my arms bodies of unspeakable beauty...
And for a fleeting lifetime was loved by them.
Where ever they are now, I have no idea. But where ever they may be I hope they're happy, and getting all the love they deserve. And they deserve tons, each and every one of them.
Especially after being foolish enough to fall in love with a man like me. I was (and still am ) a mighty leaky vessle to put a lot of hope into.... But one day I just might be solid, and one that is carved in stone..
And I hope that when I am , that I have at least one more angel alloted to me..
Windrider
Comments
But that is not as easy as it sounds, either...my complicated life is not as simple as what I might allow it to appear. But Life is being fully lived...and remembering your past is a healthy part of living Life, especially if you can learn something from it and evolve, ¿no?
I hope your Thanksgiving has been blessed.
Peace...
I couldn't agree with you more. Each one has in a way woven themselves into the fabric of who I am. For good, AND for bad.
It is indeed very complicated.
I guess that last night I was simply feeling deeply in me all of the love that has been a part of my life. The tender, the passionate, the wicked, the forbidden, and the false..
All of them played a part in my life, and I am grateful for that. More than they could ever know..
It is a bittersweet memory to look back, but one that I hope never fades....
Windrider..