Taking Potshots at the Moon...
I realize that I haven't posted in 2 weeks. I've meant to, it's just that there have been some shifts in my life that I really can't explain. Things that I haven't thought about in a long, long, time have come back around for a visit. It's been puzzling to say the least.
I'm not one to really believe in astrology, or the planets or any of that stuff. I'm a fairly scientific person. I always have been. Occam's razor, analysis, all that stuff. But the only way I can explain how I feel , and some of the happenings lately is to attribute it to some sort of "alignment of the stars". Sounds kooky I know...
It's no secret from some of my posts that I've been fairly depressed and cynical for the last couple of years. I've masked it pretty well, never let it interfere with my job, etc. But in the last couple of weeks its like a light has been turned on. It's very strange. I used to sleep ALL the time. I mean, for say, 24 hours straight never getting out of bed. I never hardly left my apartment except for food, vodka, and to go to work. I really couldn't give a crap about anything for a long time.
Breaking up with my ex-girlfriend really didn't help at all, as I truly can say that if it weren't for the problems with her mother I could have seen us spending our lives together.. I still miss her deeply, and might always, but I swore after my divorce that I would never, ever again compromise my principles. If I don't come first in the life of someone I'm in a committed relationship with, I'm gone. Period.
It just seems like things are a little brighter these days. I can't tell you how much better it feels. Although, the "chicken little" side of me is wondering how long until the misery returns. Yeah, I'm a pessimist. I guess I can't help it. Maybe it might even be a natural reaction, a sort of self preservation mechanism. Who knows..... I just hope it sticks around. I've had a rotten run of luck the last few years. I hope this is my time to win for a while, have a few seasons in the sun, you know?
I'm even putting in for a job back in Texas that would mean an initial 15,000 dollar pay cut initially. And you know what? It doesn't bother me one fucking little bit. Seriously... Nothing in this life comes easy, that I do know. And If it does come easy, more often than not it either isn't worth a shit, or doesn't stick around for long. Granted, the odds of me getting the position are way out there, but all they can do is say no. I'm used to that.
It just seems that some things are straightening out, and lining up for me. And I really hope they come to pass. It would make all the difference in the world to me.
I'm not one to really believe in astrology, or the planets or any of that stuff. I'm a fairly scientific person. I always have been. Occam's razor, analysis, all that stuff. But the only way I can explain how I feel , and some of the happenings lately is to attribute it to some sort of "alignment of the stars". Sounds kooky I know...
It's no secret from some of my posts that I've been fairly depressed and cynical for the last couple of years. I've masked it pretty well, never let it interfere with my job, etc. But in the last couple of weeks its like a light has been turned on. It's very strange. I used to sleep ALL the time. I mean, for say, 24 hours straight never getting out of bed. I never hardly left my apartment except for food, vodka, and to go to work. I really couldn't give a crap about anything for a long time.
Breaking up with my ex-girlfriend really didn't help at all, as I truly can say that if it weren't for the problems with her mother I could have seen us spending our lives together.. I still miss her deeply, and might always, but I swore after my divorce that I would never, ever again compromise my principles. If I don't come first in the life of someone I'm in a committed relationship with, I'm gone. Period.
It just seems like things are a little brighter these days. I can't tell you how much better it feels. Although, the "chicken little" side of me is wondering how long until the misery returns. Yeah, I'm a pessimist. I guess I can't help it. Maybe it might even be a natural reaction, a sort of self preservation mechanism. Who knows..... I just hope it sticks around. I've had a rotten run of luck the last few years. I hope this is my time to win for a while, have a few seasons in the sun, you know?
I'm even putting in for a job back in Texas that would mean an initial 15,000 dollar pay cut initially. And you know what? It doesn't bother me one fucking little bit. Seriously... Nothing in this life comes easy, that I do know. And If it does come easy, more often than not it either isn't worth a shit, or doesn't stick around for long. Granted, the odds of me getting the position are way out there, but all they can do is say no. I'm used to that.
It just seems that some things are straightening out, and lining up for me. And I really hope they come to pass. It would make all the difference in the world to me.
Shine on me, Dame Fortune...
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