Thoughts
Every time I come back here and write I feel as if I'm entering a museum of myself, because that's really what it is. Echos, memories, and a rather vulgar attempt to document my life as it has unfolded. I make no apologies for it. It is what it is.
But its time to return to this place. I've felt a pull to write here again for a while now. Something stirring inside me makes me want to come back. There have been a lot of reasons for it; personal growth, life changes both good and bad, and a myriad of other things. Hard to explain actually, but I'll get to it.
Life just isn't what it used to be to me anymore...
My paradigm has shifted in the last year or so. My outlook is different. My reality has become more reality than self projected illusion. (If that makes any sense) I've finally begun to see both my flaws, and my strengths in an accurate light. At least as accurately as I can view them. Some can literally bring a tear to my eye, and others can provide the reassurance that I'm not the broken toy I used to consider myself to be. Almost like a pair of blinders have been taken off my head, and oxygen applied to my lungs to bring me back from a long hibernation of the soul.
I sit here, right now, in the moment... The air conditioner whirring, the faint creak of the ceiling fan, the gentle clack of the laptop keys, and the awareness of my own breathing and heartbeat. I feel the cool air on my skin, the tiles under my bare feet, and the warmth of my face. Its nice to become aware again. In my back yard the iguanas are sunning themselves, the coconuts are dropping, and the palm fronds are swaying in the wind. All existing in the moment..
Like I am right now.
On a side note: I am so glad that my friend is alright. (Sorry for the nervous phone message last night)
But its time to return to this place. I've felt a pull to write here again for a while now. Something stirring inside me makes me want to come back. There have been a lot of reasons for it; personal growth, life changes both good and bad, and a myriad of other things. Hard to explain actually, but I'll get to it.
Life just isn't what it used to be to me anymore...
My paradigm has shifted in the last year or so. My outlook is different. My reality has become more reality than self projected illusion. (If that makes any sense) I've finally begun to see both my flaws, and my strengths in an accurate light. At least as accurately as I can view them. Some can literally bring a tear to my eye, and others can provide the reassurance that I'm not the broken toy I used to consider myself to be. Almost like a pair of blinders have been taken off my head, and oxygen applied to my lungs to bring me back from a long hibernation of the soul.
I sit here, right now, in the moment... The air conditioner whirring, the faint creak of the ceiling fan, the gentle clack of the laptop keys, and the awareness of my own breathing and heartbeat. I feel the cool air on my skin, the tiles under my bare feet, and the warmth of my face. Its nice to become aware again. In my back yard the iguanas are sunning themselves, the coconuts are dropping, and the palm fronds are swaying in the wind. All existing in the moment..
Like I am right now.
On a side note: I am so glad that my friend is alright. (Sorry for the nervous phone message last night)
Comments
It's all a journey, isn't it Windy? Sometimes it is best fit to live all in the moment; others, we need the motivation and butt-kick to focus a bit on the future, or look back to correct ourselves. Whatever, focus cannot be one-dimensional.
Be well.
It is just a journey Mapi, exactly right. Its a long tapestry that we create as we flow, struggle, or bumble along in our journey. Like a big mural painted on a wall...
I also agree that there are periods of our lives where we need to be projective, retrospective, and static (as odd as that sounds).
But, there is also the blessing of good friends brought into our lives. People we'll never forget. And that my dear, is the purest magic of all..
-Me