Home....
Well, my little house is slowly becoming a home.
My Chile pequeno bush is doing well on the little patio, and the ducklings are growing rather quickly. I have more coconuts than I can handle, and the iguanas are doing well. I'm actually starting to name them. Even reptiles have routines...
Hey that would be a good name for a song, "Even Reptiles Have Routines". Maybe I'll pen a little ditty and sing it.
The little Uke arrived last week! Its a pretty little thing and sounds very melodic and warm. The funny thing is that the ukulele manufacturer sent me the "cut out" version , which would have been great if I played right handed as it's the most expensive model they have in the Tenor size Uke. So, I told my teammate that I'd swap the cut out with him when his arrives. ( he ordered the same model and size from Bushman.) Hell, If his arrives as a cut out as well, I'll just play it "upside down".. Who cares? I did run down to Sam Ash Music and get a stand for the uke and a sheet music stand, as well was some beginner books specifically for the ukulele. No, not Hawaiian stuff either. Blues ( yes, blues ) and a couple of books on chord progression. I'm going to have to learn the treble scale but that's ok...
I just want to make music again. I've missed it so much. My soul needs a voice again. It feels like a fluttering bird inside a cage that needs to break free and soar again. I remember how it felt when I was in Orchestra and it all came together, and marching band as well. I really should have never let it go, but hey, I was a teenager. Nuff said.
I found out that I'm going to be an uncle in March a few days ago...
Given the problems my brother and his wife have been having up until the pregnancy I'm not sure if I'm all that thrilled. I should probably be ecstatic, but somehow I'm not. Granted, I'm happy for them.. But a child hardly solves deep seated problems, they magnify them in my opinion. Truth be known, I'm worried about the whole thing. If she lost the child ( like she did a couple of years ago ) I hope it works out for them.. But God, it was pretty touch and go only 6 months ago. How does this solve anything, whatsoever? This is no fucking magic wand that's being waved over the marriage... Not at all...
My parents are obviously ecstatic, which in a very childlike, and jealously childish way pisses me off, and makes me feel like I want to seek a job in Australia, or move to Hawaii or some other far away place. (which I could easily do...) This was the same feeling that had a hand in me joining the service all those years ago and leaving. While that wasn't the prime motivation for it, it was certainly a part of it. It stings to find it there, right under the surface after all these years..... It really does...
But, that's just who I am..
I just don't want to move back to only become second to their only grandchild, after being second to their son all these years. Call me petty, or morose, but I really don't want that. I think it will make me really bitter. I'll just have to see how it goes. If that's what I see happening, I'll just move on to some other venue. As sad as that is to say.
God, I sound so selfish right now. But, that's an old, ugly, and deep scar I don't want reopened after all this time. I spent 13 years getting rid of it with distance and time. And truth be told, it never really went away completely. I've endured a whole hell of a lot in the 13 years I've been gone, traipsing all over the globe. I certainly don't want to return to Texas to have to sit and watch some dog and pony show where ...
Not going to happen.
My Chile pequeno bush is doing well on the little patio, and the ducklings are growing rather quickly. I have more coconuts than I can handle, and the iguanas are doing well. I'm actually starting to name them. Even reptiles have routines...
Hey that would be a good name for a song, "Even Reptiles Have Routines". Maybe I'll pen a little ditty and sing it.
The little Uke arrived last week! Its a pretty little thing and sounds very melodic and warm. The funny thing is that the ukulele manufacturer sent me the "cut out" version , which would have been great if I played right handed as it's the most expensive model they have in the Tenor size Uke. So, I told my teammate that I'd swap the cut out with him when his arrives. ( he ordered the same model and size from Bushman.) Hell, If his arrives as a cut out as well, I'll just play it "upside down".. Who cares? I did run down to Sam Ash Music and get a stand for the uke and a sheet music stand, as well was some beginner books specifically for the ukulele. No, not Hawaiian stuff either. Blues ( yes, blues ) and a couple of books on chord progression. I'm going to have to learn the treble scale but that's ok...
I just want to make music again. I've missed it so much. My soul needs a voice again. It feels like a fluttering bird inside a cage that needs to break free and soar again. I remember how it felt when I was in Orchestra and it all came together, and marching band as well. I really should have never let it go, but hey, I was a teenager. Nuff said.
I found out that I'm going to be an uncle in March a few days ago...
Given the problems my brother and his wife have been having up until the pregnancy I'm not sure if I'm all that thrilled. I should probably be ecstatic, but somehow I'm not. Granted, I'm happy for them.. But a child hardly solves deep seated problems, they magnify them in my opinion. Truth be known, I'm worried about the whole thing. If she lost the child ( like she did a couple of years ago ) I hope it works out for them.. But God, it was pretty touch and go only 6 months ago. How does this solve anything, whatsoever? This is no fucking magic wand that's being waved over the marriage... Not at all...
My parents are obviously ecstatic, which in a very childlike, and jealously childish way pisses me off, and makes me feel like I want to seek a job in Australia, or move to Hawaii or some other far away place. (which I could easily do...) This was the same feeling that had a hand in me joining the service all those years ago and leaving. While that wasn't the prime motivation for it, it was certainly a part of it. It stings to find it there, right under the surface after all these years..... It really does...
But, that's just who I am..
I just don't want to move back to only become second to their only grandchild, after being second to their son all these years. Call me petty, or morose, but I really don't want that. I think it will make me really bitter. I'll just have to see how it goes. If that's what I see happening, I'll just move on to some other venue. As sad as that is to say.
God, I sound so selfish right now. But, that's an old, ugly, and deep scar I don't want reopened after all this time. I spent 13 years getting rid of it with distance and time. And truth be told, it never really went away completely. I've endured a whole hell of a lot in the 13 years I've been gone, traipsing all over the globe. I certainly don't want to return to Texas to have to sit and watch some dog and pony show where ...
Not going to happen.
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