Thoughts about Life, advice and observations..
I've been really quiet these days.. Really quiet... Life has been odd, and off center. Nothing drastic, just sort of a blue funk type of feeling. Like how you feel when you buy something you've wanted for a long time and it turns out to be not as great as you thought it was...
In short, a let down.. And I'm not sure exactly why I feel let down all of the sudden. I'm sure that the living situation I'm in, and the possibility of it being very temporary have something to do with it. That, and other things that are whirring through my mind all time. Like the fact that I'll be 39 in august, and that I'm now officially Middle Aged. Fun stuff like that..
Its made me pause to examine life, and what I've learned from it, and what I've observed on my journey to nowhere. All the little ( and big ) things that I've gathered on this road, this Life's Highway. The experiences, and feelings that make up the fabric of who I am and in way who all of you are as well. Because, I believe that we all have little pieces of each other that we've met inside us. We take them and they become part of the tapestry that makes each of us a unique one of a kind creation. Sort of like snowflakes, or fingerprints, or strands of DNA. There are the same types of objects as a whole, but different an their individual construction/content.
Here are some of them:
-Life is a series of choices for the most part, although random chance can play a part on the outcome. You can pick your profession, your friends, your car, clothes, house, etc. But you can't pick your family, or not to catch an illness, or if a tornado is going to blow the house you picked off the map.
-Not all people who walk this earth are good deep down inside themselves. That's a bunch of Pollyanna horseshit, and potentially deadly as well. Monsters exist in this world and they have no compunction about killing you, or causing you harm. Don't walk in terror of this fact, but damn well realize they exist, and not just in the typical Hollywood "Psycho" appearance either.
-Lending money to anyone you even remotely care about is a very risky thing to do. Many friendships of mine and many other people have been ruined over money. Use your best judgement with this one. And if its over a few hundred dollars, get a contract written up and have them sign it no matter how awkward it feels.
-Sometimes honesty really isn't the best policy. And that's just a fact of life. Some things are best kept to yourself. Especially sexual information in a relationship. Telling your new love how many people you've done the horizontal mambo with, or about the threesome with those strippers in that vegas hotel room will only get you a heaping helping of Judgement. Trust me...
-Flatulence is funny. Everyone has giggled, or laughed at either themselves or someone else ripping a big one. Look up "funny farts" on You Tube and try not to laugh. If you can't, you need counselling.
-Don't risk your life to prove a point. If that douchebag in the other lane wants to race in front of you, let him. He'll be in one of the three following places sooner than later: the Morgue, Intensive Care, or a Court of Law. Your life is worth more than that.
-Everyone at some point in their lives is going to need someone else's help. You are no exception. Yeah, it's humbling to ask for it, but it exactly what you need to do. Going down with the ship does not make you noble, it just makes you a moron. I don't care what it is; a drinking problem, changing a tire, or moving, get help.
-To continue breathing and existing on this planet every living organism must consume another formerly living organism. I don't give a shit if its fruits, vegetables, algae, meat or fish. If you don't eat something else you will die and feed something else. So enough of all the sanctimonious bullshit about "I only eat vegetables, meat is murder!!" So is ripping a plant off a vine, or out of the ground. You're killing it.. It's no different. Just because we aren't sure if a plant feels pain is irrelevant, you are killing another living organism to keep yourself alive.
-When you go on a first date you aren't going out with the real person and more often than not, neither are they. It's two "Authorized Sales Representatives" throwing pitches at each other.
-Sometimes cheaters do win, dirtbags get one over on the system, and turds rise to the top of the punchbowl. Its just the way the world is, don't try to figure it out.
-Education is one of the few things that can't be taken away from you. And it is the best way to rise above the cheaters, turds, and dirtbags. I don't care how old you are, if you don't have a degree, go get one. If it takes night school and some student loans, so be it. Think of the varying levels of diplomas as passes to different vip levels of a club. The higher you get, the better off you will be.
-The richest people I have ever met have been some of the meanest, most judgemental, miserable humans on earth. Money more often than not bleaches the soul, and hardens the heart. It makes people ruthless, and uncaring for the most part.
-The luckiest people are the ones who make their living doing something they love. The rest of us just grind for the money.
-There is no such thing as an "amicable" divorce. Think very hard, and examine closely anyone you are considering entering into wedlock with. This sounds like common sense but trust me, we all have a tendency to gloss over "little" imperfections other people have when we're in love. Then 5 years later you realize you fucked up and married the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
-Learning to cook is one of the best gifts you can ever give yourself. To have the ability to create food that warms the soul and delights the pallet is almost magical. Just filling your belly with any old crap isn't living, its simply surviving. Cooking is a creation and expression of the soul, and the passion it possesses.
-Always, always trust your gut instinct. Some people refer to it their "little voice" but its the same thing; a hardwired survival mechanism meant to warn you of situations and things that aren't quite right. It takes practice, but it can save you a lot of trouble and quite literally your life. Listen to it! Hone the skill of heeding it, and hearing it.
-Do not rely on the Police to be able to come to your rescue if dire circumstances arise. Have at least one loaded gun in a secure place inside your home. Realize that guns are not instruments of evil, they are simply tools. No different than a shovel or a hammer. Its better to have one and never need one that to need one desperately and not have one.
-Regrets are painful things. Sometimes they can take your breath away. But, while the pain of a regret is uncomfortable it is also one of the most powerful corrective forces you can ever apply to yourself.
-The ones who are always dishing it out, are almost always the ones who can't take it themselves.
-Eliminate anyone from your social life who is rude to waitstaff, cab drivers, flight attendants, or cashiers. They are assholes of the highest order, period.
-If its not Halloween and you dress like a thug, slut, or outlaw biker, more than likely you'll get treated like one, so don't bitch about it if you do.
-Any Law Enforcement Officer is only referred to as "Sir" or "Ma'am", even if they are being rude to you. Always. Don't play Constitutional Scholar with them. Comply and you'll be on your way quickly. If you want to argue like my buddy did that night in 1991 just make sure you don't have anything to do for the next 12 hours or so. Especially if you have a joint in your shirt pocket.
-First of all, never, ever take a poop at someone's house that you've been invited to for any reason.. ever... While your turds might smell like sugar cookies at your house, and the toilet never malfunctions, go ahead and tempt the fates by attempting it at someone elses place. Murphy will begin practicing his Law with a vengance. You will inevitably clog up the bowl with something that resembles a coiled chocolate rattlesnake, and make the place smell like the Monkey House at the zoo on a hot July afternoon. Of course, there will be no plunger under the sink, nor air freshener anywhere in the loo. The horror.....The horror.....
-Read the above snippet again and let it sink in really good as it is probably the best advice in the list.
-After breaking up with/or having someone breakup with you that you really loved, do the following things: 1.) change your cell number. I don't care how much of a pain in the ass it is, it will save you an immense amout of trouble. 2.) Delete the other persons cell, home, and work phone numbers from your phone immediately. This will save you the pain of accidentally hitting their number by mistake, or after 13 dirty martinis at the casino. 3.) Take all pictures that contain said person and put them in a shoebox and seal the box with duct tape, place in the back of a closet and forget about it for at least a year or more. 4.) Pick new places to hang out, and hang out often. Don't sit in your house or apartment in sackcloth and ashes after 3 weeks of the break up as it can become a habit and put into the clinical depression zone. 5.) DO NOT get involved in a rebound relationship whatsoever. A wise psychologist told me once that you need to give yourself 6 months for every year and a half your relationship lasted before getting seriously involved with anyone else as that is the point at which you are stable enough to do so. The advice was spot on.
-Start a library of cookbooks. Trust me, you will thank me later! Cover every range of cuisine; Thai, Indian, English, French, Italian (Mario Batalli) , Mexican (Rick Bayless, hint hint) , Carribean, African-American ( Sylvia's Soul Food Cookbook is hands down, the best of the best) , Western (Ranch style), The Betty Crocker Cookbook, and slow cooker/crock pot types. And READ them. It will actually make you want to cook. And some of them read like novels with recipies thrown in.
-Learn how to do these four things with proficiency: 1.) Sharpen a knife, and handle it safely 2.) Make a campfire from "scratch" using only a firesteel (google it..) 3.) CPR, and basic first aid 4.) How to admit when you are wrong, and apologise sincerely.
-Always have enough non-perishable food in your pantry so that if any natural or urban disaster happened you could live without assistance for at least 7 days.
-Learn to laugh at yourself, because trust me, You do some silly shit...... To quote John Hiatt, "done a lot of dumb things, probly do some more.." And you will. So will I.
-Slow down, the world isn't going to collapse just because you haven't done something, or called someone. Learn to switch gears. Sit and just listen to the birds, or the wind in the trees for a while.
-Stretch..
In short, a let down.. And I'm not sure exactly why I feel let down all of the sudden. I'm sure that the living situation I'm in, and the possibility of it being very temporary have something to do with it. That, and other things that are whirring through my mind all time. Like the fact that I'll be 39 in august, and that I'm now officially Middle Aged. Fun stuff like that..
Its made me pause to examine life, and what I've learned from it, and what I've observed on my journey to nowhere. All the little ( and big ) things that I've gathered on this road, this Life's Highway. The experiences, and feelings that make up the fabric of who I am and in way who all of you are as well. Because, I believe that we all have little pieces of each other that we've met inside us. We take them and they become part of the tapestry that makes each of us a unique one of a kind creation. Sort of like snowflakes, or fingerprints, or strands of DNA. There are the same types of objects as a whole, but different an their individual construction/content.
Here are some of them:
-Life is a series of choices for the most part, although random chance can play a part on the outcome. You can pick your profession, your friends, your car, clothes, house, etc. But you can't pick your family, or not to catch an illness, or if a tornado is going to blow the house you picked off the map.
-Not all people who walk this earth are good deep down inside themselves. That's a bunch of Pollyanna horseshit, and potentially deadly as well. Monsters exist in this world and they have no compunction about killing you, or causing you harm. Don't walk in terror of this fact, but damn well realize they exist, and not just in the typical Hollywood "Psycho" appearance either.
-Lending money to anyone you even remotely care about is a very risky thing to do. Many friendships of mine and many other people have been ruined over money. Use your best judgement with this one. And if its over a few hundred dollars, get a contract written up and have them sign it no matter how awkward it feels.
-Sometimes honesty really isn't the best policy. And that's just a fact of life. Some things are best kept to yourself. Especially sexual information in a relationship. Telling your new love how many people you've done the horizontal mambo with, or about the threesome with those strippers in that vegas hotel room will only get you a heaping helping of Judgement. Trust me...
-Flatulence is funny. Everyone has giggled, or laughed at either themselves or someone else ripping a big one. Look up "funny farts" on You Tube and try not to laugh. If you can't, you need counselling.
-Don't risk your life to prove a point. If that douchebag in the other lane wants to race in front of you, let him. He'll be in one of the three following places sooner than later: the Morgue, Intensive Care, or a Court of Law. Your life is worth more than that.
-Everyone at some point in their lives is going to need someone else's help. You are no exception. Yeah, it's humbling to ask for it, but it exactly what you need to do. Going down with the ship does not make you noble, it just makes you a moron. I don't care what it is; a drinking problem, changing a tire, or moving, get help.
-To continue breathing and existing on this planet every living organism must consume another formerly living organism. I don't give a shit if its fruits, vegetables, algae, meat or fish. If you don't eat something else you will die and feed something else. So enough of all the sanctimonious bullshit about "I only eat vegetables, meat is murder!!" So is ripping a plant off a vine, or out of the ground. You're killing it.. It's no different. Just because we aren't sure if a plant feels pain is irrelevant, you are killing another living organism to keep yourself alive.
-When you go on a first date you aren't going out with the real person and more often than not, neither are they. It's two "Authorized Sales Representatives" throwing pitches at each other.
-Sometimes cheaters do win, dirtbags get one over on the system, and turds rise to the top of the punchbowl. Its just the way the world is, don't try to figure it out.
-Education is one of the few things that can't be taken away from you. And it is the best way to rise above the cheaters, turds, and dirtbags. I don't care how old you are, if you don't have a degree, go get one. If it takes night school and some student loans, so be it. Think of the varying levels of diplomas as passes to different vip levels of a club. The higher you get, the better off you will be.
-The richest people I have ever met have been some of the meanest, most judgemental, miserable humans on earth. Money more often than not bleaches the soul, and hardens the heart. It makes people ruthless, and uncaring for the most part.
-The luckiest people are the ones who make their living doing something they love. The rest of us just grind for the money.
-There is no such thing as an "amicable" divorce. Think very hard, and examine closely anyone you are considering entering into wedlock with. This sounds like common sense but trust me, we all have a tendency to gloss over "little" imperfections other people have when we're in love. Then 5 years later you realize you fucked up and married the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
-Learning to cook is one of the best gifts you can ever give yourself. To have the ability to create food that warms the soul and delights the pallet is almost magical. Just filling your belly with any old crap isn't living, its simply surviving. Cooking is a creation and expression of the soul, and the passion it possesses.
-Always, always trust your gut instinct. Some people refer to it their "little voice" but its the same thing; a hardwired survival mechanism meant to warn you of situations and things that aren't quite right. It takes practice, but it can save you a lot of trouble and quite literally your life. Listen to it! Hone the skill of heeding it, and hearing it.
-Do not rely on the Police to be able to come to your rescue if dire circumstances arise. Have at least one loaded gun in a secure place inside your home. Realize that guns are not instruments of evil, they are simply tools. No different than a shovel or a hammer. Its better to have one and never need one that to need one desperately and not have one.
-Regrets are painful things. Sometimes they can take your breath away. But, while the pain of a regret is uncomfortable it is also one of the most powerful corrective forces you can ever apply to yourself.
-The ones who are always dishing it out, are almost always the ones who can't take it themselves.
-Eliminate anyone from your social life who is rude to waitstaff, cab drivers, flight attendants, or cashiers. They are assholes of the highest order, period.
-If its not Halloween and you dress like a thug, slut, or outlaw biker, more than likely you'll get treated like one, so don't bitch about it if you do.
-Any Law Enforcement Officer is only referred to as "Sir" or "Ma'am", even if they are being rude to you. Always. Don't play Constitutional Scholar with them. Comply and you'll be on your way quickly. If you want to argue like my buddy did that night in 1991 just make sure you don't have anything to do for the next 12 hours or so. Especially if you have a joint in your shirt pocket.
-First of all, never, ever take a poop at someone's house that you've been invited to for any reason.. ever... While your turds might smell like sugar cookies at your house, and the toilet never malfunctions, go ahead and tempt the fates by attempting it at someone elses place. Murphy will begin practicing his Law with a vengance. You will inevitably clog up the bowl with something that resembles a coiled chocolate rattlesnake, and make the place smell like the Monkey House at the zoo on a hot July afternoon. Of course, there will be no plunger under the sink, nor air freshener anywhere in the loo. The horror.....The horror.....
-Read the above snippet again and let it sink in really good as it is probably the best advice in the list.
-After breaking up with/or having someone breakup with you that you really loved, do the following things: 1.) change your cell number. I don't care how much of a pain in the ass it is, it will save you an immense amout of trouble. 2.) Delete the other persons cell, home, and work phone numbers from your phone immediately. This will save you the pain of accidentally hitting their number by mistake, or after 13 dirty martinis at the casino. 3.) Take all pictures that contain said person and put them in a shoebox and seal the box with duct tape, place in the back of a closet and forget about it for at least a year or more. 4.) Pick new places to hang out, and hang out often. Don't sit in your house or apartment in sackcloth and ashes after 3 weeks of the break up as it can become a habit and put into the clinical depression zone. 5.) DO NOT get involved in a rebound relationship whatsoever. A wise psychologist told me once that you need to give yourself 6 months for every year and a half your relationship lasted before getting seriously involved with anyone else as that is the point at which you are stable enough to do so. The advice was spot on.
-Start a library of cookbooks. Trust me, you will thank me later! Cover every range of cuisine; Thai, Indian, English, French, Italian (Mario Batalli) , Mexican (Rick Bayless, hint hint) , Carribean, African-American ( Sylvia's Soul Food Cookbook is hands down, the best of the best) , Western (Ranch style), The Betty Crocker Cookbook, and slow cooker/crock pot types. And READ them. It will actually make you want to cook. And some of them read like novels with recipies thrown in.
-Learn how to do these four things with proficiency: 1.) Sharpen a knife, and handle it safely 2.) Make a campfire from "scratch" using only a firesteel (google it..) 3.) CPR, and basic first aid 4.) How to admit when you are wrong, and apologise sincerely.
-Always have enough non-perishable food in your pantry so that if any natural or urban disaster happened you could live without assistance for at least 7 days.
-Learn to laugh at yourself, because trust me, You do some silly shit...... To quote John Hiatt, "done a lot of dumb things, probly do some more.." And you will. So will I.
-Slow down, the world isn't going to collapse just because you haven't done something, or called someone. Learn to switch gears. Sit and just listen to the birds, or the wind in the trees for a while.
-Stretch..
Comments
You give some good advice. The toilet one is one I have never heard before. :)
Welcome.. Yeah, 39 has made my brain go into overdrive in the "reflecting" department.
Don't ask me how I know the toilet advice... (shudder)