Random thoughts
I've always been a procrastinator...
I'm not sure where I picked the trait up.
All the rest of my family are the most anti-procrastinators on the planet. Mom pays bills way before they're due. Dad is always doing something that needs to be taken care of. And my brother is super proactive.
I on the other hand, wait until the last minute to do everything. And I mean everything. If I need to pay a bill, I wait until the deadline. If I need to study for a test, its one or two days before the test before I crack a book. It's maddening.
I'm not sure exactly why I started thinking about this today. I just did. I realized that I need to stop it. Its not that I'm getting myself into trouble as a result of it. I just want to not wait until the last second to accomplish things. It would probably reduce a lot of running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
My living situation seems alright for now. The roommate has been gone for a week and comes back on Friday. We get along really well. The biggest test will be this summer, when the heat gets here. I'm paying the lion's share of everything but I won't allow myself to get paper thin. I just can't. I mean I'm finally at a place where I actually have spare money at the end of the month and that's a great thing for a change. Christ, theres actually a comma in the balance of the checking account on a regular basis. Its nice to be able to save some, and also have money to do some fun things. I'm not going to sacrifice that just to stay there even if it is helping him out.
I don't pry into his affairs, or even ask about his financial dealings whatsoever. But, I think he and his wife are absolutely up to their eyeballs in debt. And I mean swimming in it. Just yesterday I went to the mailbox and there were a TON of bills for them, and some of them looked like past due notices. I feel bad that they are in this situation, but in all honesty they brought it on themselves. I think its a case of poor planning and having champagne taste on a beer budget.
So, I'm keeping an eye out for other places to live if the situation falls through. I hope it doesn't, but I have to be prepared for the possibility.
The semester is almost over, and I couldn't be happier. I decided that I'm only taking one class next semester, physics.. (shudder) I'll need to focus on that completely, and I also need to catch my breath. Only having one class will give me a chance to recharge for the final push to graduation. I've been driving pretty hard for the last year so while its not like a semester off, its at least less workload.
Work is the mindless toil its always been. I hate showing up there. I'm so over it. Hopefully the next year and a half will pass quickly and I'll be out of here soon.
I'm sure I'll miss a lot of things about south Florida, but I really just want to move home, buy a little house out in the country or on my parents block and just live a peaceful existence. I've done the "warrior/globe trotter/jet set/rock star" thing for 13 years and I'm tired of it. I want to go fishing, and turkey hunting, and camp out by the rivers I did as a young man. I guess I want to plant my flag and try to live the best life I can.
I'm getting older. I've realized that life is more than a big salary, and prestigious job title. Its about living, and making the most of the time we're given to be here. Not about what car you drive, or what label is on your scotch bottle, or inside your suit. Thats all meaningless bullshit. It doesn't matter.
Well, I better get back to work.
I'm not sure where I picked the trait up.
All the rest of my family are the most anti-procrastinators on the planet. Mom pays bills way before they're due. Dad is always doing something that needs to be taken care of. And my brother is super proactive.
I on the other hand, wait until the last minute to do everything. And I mean everything. If I need to pay a bill, I wait until the deadline. If I need to study for a test, its one or two days before the test before I crack a book. It's maddening.
I'm not sure exactly why I started thinking about this today. I just did. I realized that I need to stop it. Its not that I'm getting myself into trouble as a result of it. I just want to not wait until the last second to accomplish things. It would probably reduce a lot of running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
My living situation seems alright for now. The roommate has been gone for a week and comes back on Friday. We get along really well. The biggest test will be this summer, when the heat gets here. I'm paying the lion's share of everything but I won't allow myself to get paper thin. I just can't. I mean I'm finally at a place where I actually have spare money at the end of the month and that's a great thing for a change. Christ, theres actually a comma in the balance of the checking account on a regular basis. Its nice to be able to save some, and also have money to do some fun things. I'm not going to sacrifice that just to stay there even if it is helping him out.
I don't pry into his affairs, or even ask about his financial dealings whatsoever. But, I think he and his wife are absolutely up to their eyeballs in debt. And I mean swimming in it. Just yesterday I went to the mailbox and there were a TON of bills for them, and some of them looked like past due notices. I feel bad that they are in this situation, but in all honesty they brought it on themselves. I think its a case of poor planning and having champagne taste on a beer budget.
So, I'm keeping an eye out for other places to live if the situation falls through. I hope it doesn't, but I have to be prepared for the possibility.
The semester is almost over, and I couldn't be happier. I decided that I'm only taking one class next semester, physics.. (shudder) I'll need to focus on that completely, and I also need to catch my breath. Only having one class will give me a chance to recharge for the final push to graduation. I've been driving pretty hard for the last year so while its not like a semester off, its at least less workload.
Work is the mindless toil its always been. I hate showing up there. I'm so over it. Hopefully the next year and a half will pass quickly and I'll be out of here soon.
I'm sure I'll miss a lot of things about south Florida, but I really just want to move home, buy a little house out in the country or on my parents block and just live a peaceful existence. I've done the "warrior/globe trotter/jet set/rock star" thing for 13 years and I'm tired of it. I want to go fishing, and turkey hunting, and camp out by the rivers I did as a young man. I guess I want to plant my flag and try to live the best life I can.
I'm getting older. I've realized that life is more than a big salary, and prestigious job title. Its about living, and making the most of the time we're given to be here. Not about what car you drive, or what label is on your scotch bottle, or inside your suit. Thats all meaningless bullshit. It doesn't matter.
Well, I better get back to work.
Comments
That doesn't imply perfection by any stretch of the imagination; it merely means I appreciate the path you are on and respect you all the more for it. There is something to the world religions that seek that higher conciousness, not only of self but of existence as a whole. That englightenment is motivating to living a good life, isn't it? Sure would be nice to attain...! :)
Be well, Windy.