Tales of a Fraidy Cat...

I, as it turns out am a big ol' puss... It's just that simple. Try as I may to put forth a tough guy image, I am sadly a big sissy when it comes to certain things.

Like running into my ex....

Night before last on my way home I remembered that I was running low on booze so I decided to drive to the Walgreens ( that has a liquor store attached to it ) just down the street from my apartment. I pulled into the parking lot of the store and began scanning for a suitable parking space. It was still rush hour and the lot was packed with cars coming and going. I looked to my left and noticed a spot that was open:

Right next to my ex's car... Yep, my ex's car...

I was quite sure it was her car due to the distinctive sticker on the rear window that we bought when I took her home to Texas last year. I knew I would run into her if I parked there and went into the store. I was positive of it. My heart jumped into my throat, and my adrenal gland did it's little thing.

So what did I do? Well, I did what any shameless cur dog would have done; I jammed the gearshift into second, put my tail between my legs, and hauled ass out of the parking lot and drove off to Costco to get my liquor. And I felt like a big, yellow bellied coward doing it, too.

I've never been good around ex-lovers, ever. Meaning, I just don't like being around them at all. It's completely awkward, I get very uncomfortable, and absolutely hate doing the "How are you?/Fine/how are you?" act that you seem to always go thru. its a big act that you seem to be obligated to play a part in, its totally false, and utter bullshit. Multiply the discomfort times 1000% if either they, or you are with someone else when you happen to run into them. It positively gives me hives to even think about it.

I guess I just have to admit that I'm still harboring hurt feelings, and some resentment towards her about how things went down between the two of us.. As much as I try to deny it I'm still healing from our break up, and seeing her car the other night was like a scab being ripped off my heart.

But, I'm going to have to be aware of the possibility of running into her since we live so close to each other. What's a boy to do?