the more things change the more they stay the same...
I was just about a finger stroke away from deleting this blog and giving up on it. It's been so long since I really used it I was thinking that it wouldn't matter.
Lucky for everyone I came to my senses and saved this piece of shit for posterity.
Where to begin? Jesus, I haven't a clue.
I've been gone so long that most of my sidebar links are defunct. The waiter isn't waiting tables anymore, bug gave up the ghost a long time ago, diva's awol, and some have simply moved on. Mike is still plugging along which is good to see. I wish I had his drive.
I still work at the same place. Unfortunately.. I'm a literal prisoner to my salary here. The only way I'll get back home to San Antonio is to take a WHOPPER pay cut ( if I can get the job to begin with ), or go back to school here and finish my B.S. degree and try to find a decent paying job back home.
I'm game for either one, I just want to get the fuck out of here. I absolutely hate most of the people I work with. I have never been around such backstabbing, lying, two faced human beings in my life. Not even in the Army.. (hell, at least the soldiers I served with had some pride in what they did.)
Not to mention I miss my family and my old hometown terribly. Texas is just so friendly, and has so much history. People there take pride in being a Texan, they take pride in a lot of things that folks down here don't even think twice about. But I digress..
I broke things off with my girlfriend last Friday. We had been together for a year and 4 months. I just couldn't keep acting like things were alright between us. The rift between her mother and I was never going to be resolved despite an attempt by me at making things right, and a ton of other things that just never seemed to improve between us.
We hadn't had sex in about 5 months. Hey, when the intimacy decays, resentment sets in and it is damn near impossible to rekindle the fire. I don't care what the "experts" say. I'm not sure exactly why it happened. I know I've gained a lot of weight since I quit smoking last year, and that probably had something to do with it, but she did as well. But I really think the cause was deeper than that.
There were a couple of things that had been simmering under the surface that I'm positive affected us. One was her mother, and her shitty treatment of me. Basically, when I wouldn't bow and scrape to her every whim (her mother) she basically started running me down and talking trash to me the last time we were in public. Needless to say I was appalled, and while I held my tongue and didn't react out of respect for my girlfriend, I was officially "done " with dealing with the mamma drama. I am able to turn the other cheek, once.. However, if you swing at me a second time (verbally or physically) you've cashed in all your green stamps with me. At this point I will have zero remorse or regret in going on the offensive and having a "Come to Jesus" meeting with the offending party.
Well, having said that I expect for the person I'm in a relationship with to come to my defense if I'm being unjustly attacked. (especially if it's YOUR goddamned family member thats doing it!!) She didn't do that, and it really caused a ton of resentment on my part. Make no mistake about it , I let her know this as well. So she was well aware of my feelings on the issue. When we would argue about it I would hear " well, she's my mother". I guess that simply meant that blood was thicker than water. Never Again..
Financial issues where rearing thier ugly head as well... Hey listen up ladies, when you tell a man "I want to take you out to dinner on thursday" the bill is yours to pay, period.. It's 2007, not 1940, so stop with the "ambush" check, or bar tab for that matter. It's tacky, and uncouth, and this is one guy who won't fall for that shit ever again, and I do mean EVER again.
Why do I mention this? Well, a pattern had most definitely emerged where I was being considered the only one capable of paying for dinner or drinks, or alot of other things. It wasn't a problem when we were first dating, in fact she would insist on me paying one time and her paying the next time we went out.
I guess the long and short of it is that I felt like I was taken advantage of... I also feel that my time wasn't considered as valuable as hers was in the overall scheme of things.
It makes me sad... Alot of time and emotion was invested into the relationship, and some really fun and memorable times were had between us. I guess it just wasn't in the cards.
Sigh....
Lucky for everyone I came to my senses and saved this piece of shit for posterity.
Where to begin? Jesus, I haven't a clue.
I've been gone so long that most of my sidebar links are defunct. The waiter isn't waiting tables anymore, bug gave up the ghost a long time ago, diva's awol, and some have simply moved on. Mike is still plugging along which is good to see. I wish I had his drive.
I still work at the same place. Unfortunately.. I'm a literal prisoner to my salary here. The only way I'll get back home to San Antonio is to take a WHOPPER pay cut ( if I can get the job to begin with ), or go back to school here and finish my B.S. degree and try to find a decent paying job back home.
I'm game for either one, I just want to get the fuck out of here. I absolutely hate most of the people I work with. I have never been around such backstabbing, lying, two faced human beings in my life. Not even in the Army.. (hell, at least the soldiers I served with had some pride in what they did.)
Not to mention I miss my family and my old hometown terribly. Texas is just so friendly, and has so much history. People there take pride in being a Texan, they take pride in a lot of things that folks down here don't even think twice about. But I digress..
I broke things off with my girlfriend last Friday. We had been together for a year and 4 months. I just couldn't keep acting like things were alright between us. The rift between her mother and I was never going to be resolved despite an attempt by me at making things right, and a ton of other things that just never seemed to improve between us.
We hadn't had sex in about 5 months. Hey, when the intimacy decays, resentment sets in and it is damn near impossible to rekindle the fire. I don't care what the "experts" say. I'm not sure exactly why it happened. I know I've gained a lot of weight since I quit smoking last year, and that probably had something to do with it, but she did as well. But I really think the cause was deeper than that.
There were a couple of things that had been simmering under the surface that I'm positive affected us. One was her mother, and her shitty treatment of me. Basically, when I wouldn't bow and scrape to her every whim (her mother) she basically started running me down and talking trash to me the last time we were in public. Needless to say I was appalled, and while I held my tongue and didn't react out of respect for my girlfriend, I was officially "done " with dealing with the mamma drama. I am able to turn the other cheek, once.. However, if you swing at me a second time (verbally or physically) you've cashed in all your green stamps with me. At this point I will have zero remorse or regret in going on the offensive and having a "Come to Jesus" meeting with the offending party.
Well, having said that I expect for the person I'm in a relationship with to come to my defense if I'm being unjustly attacked. (especially if it's YOUR goddamned family member thats doing it!!) She didn't do that, and it really caused a ton of resentment on my part. Make no mistake about it , I let her know this as well. So she was well aware of my feelings on the issue. When we would argue about it I would hear " well, she's my mother". I guess that simply meant that blood was thicker than water. Never Again..
Financial issues where rearing thier ugly head as well... Hey listen up ladies, when you tell a man "I want to take you out to dinner on thursday" the bill is yours to pay, period.. It's 2007, not 1940, so stop with the "ambush" check, or bar tab for that matter. It's tacky, and uncouth, and this is one guy who won't fall for that shit ever again, and I do mean EVER again.
Why do I mention this? Well, a pattern had most definitely emerged where I was being considered the only one capable of paying for dinner or drinks, or alot of other things. It wasn't a problem when we were first dating, in fact she would insist on me paying one time and her paying the next time we went out.
I guess the long and short of it is that I felt like I was taken advantage of... I also feel that my time wasn't considered as valuable as hers was in the overall scheme of things.
It makes me sad... Alot of time and emotion was invested into the relationship, and some really fun and memorable times were had between us. I guess it just wasn't in the cards.
Sigh....
Comments
Yeah there have been some ripples in the pond in the last few months. But, that's life I guess.
Its good to be back to the writing. Its cleansing.