Just keep putting one foot in front of the other...

Honestly, that's the best advice I could give anyone going through a rough time.

    There's no magic spell, or "secret sauce" to getting back up after being knocked down in life. There just isn't. Friends come and go, and sympathy from others is limited at best. After all, we all have our own problems to deal with. You may get a shoulder to cry on for a while, but eventually you just have to figure out a way to just get on with life. Because if you stay down for too long people will naturally pull away from you, lest they get pulled down into the mess with you. 

    Over the last 10 years I've learned to rely on myself rather than other people. No, that's not some sort of "flex", or some kind of chest beating. I just realized that I was my only way out of the problems I had created in my life.. Period. 

    Sure, it can feel really good to vent to someone. (Too good in fact.)  But it can also become a habit, and you can find yourself playing the victim card to any ear that will listen if you aren't careful. You never get any resolution to to what is causing the pain inside you. You have to take responsibility for your feelings, dig down into them despite how uncomfortable that is - and face them. Yes, this sucks.. Yes, it hurts. But its the only way that you will able to move beyond them.

    I vented to others for far too long, and far too often. And, it got me absolutely nowhere. (except for becoming more sad and depressed) I stopped telling my "sad tales of woe" to willing ears. Instead, I started a journal with a pen and paper. I began writing a little every day. Just letting my emotions and thoughts spill out onto paper. Somehow, it allowed me to release some of the poison that had built up inside me over the years.. Mostly disappointments and poor choices I had made in my life. Past failures that I needed to take accountability for, but hadn't. All of it. And no one else could help with that. It was a journey I had to take all alone. Because that was really the only way that I was going to resolve them. And I don't mean to imply that I've solved, dealt with or eliminated them! It's an ongoing process that I don't believe ever fully ends. But, it has certainly helped Alot.

    "Self Talk" has also been a big help. Granted, you have to do this in private as you are essentially having a conversation with yourself. (lest you be seen as batshit crazy) But there is something very effective to vocalizing out loud about the issues and problems that haunt you. I do it all the time when I'm alone, and it works wonders. There's just something about speaking out loud about complex emotional issues, regrets, fears, and sorrows that "smooths the emotional wrinkles" inside.

    I've come to understand that life is more shit than sunshine and rainbows. The first Noble Truth is spot on - in life there is suffering. So, it isn't realistic to expect happiness all of the time. You will have to "munch on the shit sandwich" many, many times in this life. But, as light must make darkness - the reciprocal is also true. Meaning, it can't stay shitty forever. However, if we stay stuck in the victim role the shitty will almost surely be the thing we focus on, and experience the most of. But walking around expecting things to be "no bad vibes" all the time will 100% guarantee you a rougher go of it. Bad things will happen, things will go sideways, you name it... So, being realistic and enjoying the good times when the are present but knowing that they cant last forever ( and vice versa ) is a more balanced way I've come to look at life.

Its hard to not look on the dark side of things to be honest. Life is full of rather grim things. (especially in this day and age) But there are also a lot of cool and beautiful things around us. Even if its only a tree outside our window with some birds in it, or a random tiny flower growing out of the concrete. Whatever. It all depends on what we are focused on finding/seeing. I also think the skill of just letting things go (as best as you possibly can) is one of the better ones to build on.

But above all - keep moving. Sitting still and moping or dwelling just make it exponentially worse for me. Even if its just running a broom across your floor, cleaning the kitchen, or the crap out of your car: just get up and do something. It never fails to make me feel a bit better when I do.

One foot in front of the other. Even if its just an inch a day for a while, get that inch every single day.