Cooling off.

What a pressure filled couple of months this turned out to be.

Upon the advice of a Former Graduate advisor who has since fled the scene to another venue, I took a course recommended as an elective. What an utter mistake that was. The suggested class was an MBA strategic marketing course. Jesus...

Read: Way over my head. I've taken one basic marketing class in my life. This was like Uber marketing, taught by a female PhD, Andy Warhol type professor. I was so far out of my "comfort zone" it wasn't even funny. I was literally queasy as I polished and finalized my final exam for the class Tuesday morning. Not to "gild the lily" but I was less nervous putting a snare around an alligator's neck than I was to give my presentation that night in class. And I'm being completely, 100% percent serious when I say that. Looking like a buffoon in front of other people is far more traumatic to me than getting bitten in the wilderness, as odd as that may seem.

But I did it, and barely remember giving the presentation. Funny how stress makes you sort of either blackout, or have crystal clear memories of every second. I'm glad I had the blackout experience. I'm not sure why exactly I was so out of it but I was. I think the lack of sleep leading up to it had much to do with the anxiety level. My blood pressure was also off the charts for the days leading up to the event. I just refused to let it take me down. I scrambled, I called experts in the field, I conversed with strategic marketing professionals in London. It was panic, and pressure.

It was luck, and sheer force of will.

I found out last night that I received a 4.0 for the course.

If I could only apply that same will to other areas in my life. But, this isn't the time for all that sanctimonious crap. I'm a work in progress, what can I say? Love me as I am, or be gone. I'm over putting on images and airs to please anyone. No more of that, ever again.

But I also need to learn to cool it, and relax..